Friday, December 13, 2013

peace on earth? i'd settle for peace on me...

Christmas. The time of year when "peace on earth, goodwill to men" gets said and sung over and over again. Yet for some reason this is also the time of year when peace seems the hardest to access...at least for me. Or maybe it's not so much this season, but more my awareness of my lack of peace that's so palpable this year.

I gotta say, as soon as I elected to talk about this out loud rather than struggling with it inside, I obtained even less peace in my world than before. It was as though everything and everyone was against me having peace. And that is partially true. Someone IS against me having peace...I just haven't been giving the appropriate amount of credit to him.

[Disclaimer: this isn't a short stroll through happy feel-good paths of fluff. If you find yourself saying "ugh...I can't read this, it's too long and I don't read," or "if it's not 140 characters or less, I don't have time for it." I'd like to encourage you that this may be the very thing you NEED to read. Take the 5 or 10 minutes and see what happens.]

Y'all. I'm a Christian for a living. Pretty much everything my husband and I do is ministry-related. You'd think we'd have this peace plan down to a science by now...it's practically a requirement for professional Christianity. Unfortunately, it seems that God would like to acquaint me with just how much peace I don't have...and it's startling. Maybe you can relate... 

The last several months and maybe even a year or more have been palpably difficult for me in regard to peace. Oh sure, I've had hard, even excruciatingly difficult seasons of my life, but as I look back over the last year or so, I realize JUST how much inner angst I've come to regard as normal. I'm also aware of how many cultural anesthetics and coping mechanisms I use or have developed. I'm only recently comprehending that though it may be normal, it's not healthy, nor is it God's design for me.

The more that God began stirring in me as He mercifully instructed me, the less peace I found I had. If the circumstances of my life had not been so ridiculous that I couldn't deny that God was being purposeful in it, I would've thrown in the towel and just succumbed to it. All of it. The depression, anxiety, anger, fear - all of the things that I've become so acquainted with recently. Then, just in the nick of time, I heard a song...

A few years ago, Jeffrey and I recorded a Christmas record and had Maggie sing "Silent Night" on it and then recite Luke 2 at the end. Precious, right? I've heard it a thousand times, but this year, in this season, the words she spoke at the end cut me right open. Instead of "peace on earth, goodwill to men" to close it out, I'd chosen the translation for her that says, "and on earth, peace to men on whom His favor rests." I remember liking the wording at the time, but had no idea the catalyst it would be for my current journey.

This year, when I heard it, my response (with more sass than is probably appropriate when speaking with the Creator of the universe) was: "If your coming was to bring PEACE, then why don't I have any???" He is so kind, even when I'm so insufferable. He began walking me through it step by step. "You need to realize the two expressions of peace I bring." This was huge for me. "Two expressions?" Sometimes I'm a little slow. "Yes...positional peace and practical peace. You are secure in one, but being robbed of the other." And thus began an eye opening and heart reviving journey with Jesus.

You and I have an enemy. An actual enemy. His name is Satan...he's the father of lies, he wears disguises, he hides, he manipulates, he's cunning, he's done his homework, and he's ruthless. For those of us who are in Jesus, we have POSITIONAL PEACE through the finished work of Jesus on the cross. Our position is forever secure. Satan can't rob us of this position of peace. Once saved, always saved as the saying goes. God has NO more wrath for us as believers. He poured it all out on Jesus and that act brings us positional peace with God...secured forever...our future is sure. Jesus IS our peace. We have peace with God because His favor rests on us as his children.

Since Satan has no claim on our positional peace, you can be sure that his schemes involve robbing us of our PRACTICAL PEACE. After all, since he can't go after our salvation, he might as well attack our sanctification! Why? Because Christians (even professional ones) who are so caught up in themselves and their issues and their struggles and are hit and hemorrhaging from one or many of the fiery arrows of the devil are rendered ineffective for the kingdom! The enemy wants you and me ineffective. If he can keep us sitting and spinning in our own angst of soul, we won't have the insight, discernment or wherewithal to participate in the great story of redemption and restoration that God is writing around us. We'll be narcissists.

What are the enemy's fiery arrows? Well, besides disguising himself as the people in our lives at times - anybody got any relational angst they'd like to cop to? Shannon raises hand. Anybody's kids sometimes seem possessed by the actual devil? Shannon raises hand - he also fires arrows of emotional torment and we don't even recognize it as a scheme of the enemy until we're in so deep we need therapy and prescriptions to get out of it.

Because we know from scripture that our battle is not against flesh and blood, we can already know that the people in our lives aren't the ultimate enemy. They may look, talk, sound and behave like the enemy at times, but they are flesh and blood, so our battle isn't actually against them. Our battle is against forces of evil. Against Satan and his minions. The names of fiery arrows include, but are not limited to:

Fear, worry, anxiety, anger, cynicism, addiction, depression, performance, perfection, hurt, paranoia, regret, comparison, ingratitude, jealousy (fear of losing what belongs to you), coveting (wanting what isn't yours), envy (wanting what isn't yours and begrudging the person who has it), drive to achieve, laziness, greed, gluttony, pride (sense of pleasure from one's own achievements), arrogance (exaggerated sense of self-importance)... and those are just a few of the enemy's arrows.

These could have taken up residence in you as a result of any number of things:

Hurt, divorce, betrayal, singleness, body issues, children who've strayed, a change of season in your life, loss, death, illness, cancer, surgery, financial issues, abuse of any kind (verbal, physical, emotional), cheating, lying, relational dysfunction, job insecurity, death of a vision, hope deferred...

Whether it's happened to us or whether we've caused it, any one of these things can lead us to a famine of epic proportions in the practical peace storehouse.

Right now, I really need practical peace. My hunch is that many of you do too...so, it's my prayer that articulating this journey of mine will encourage you...

I present to you, my journey with Jesus to:

:: Purposefully Possessing Practical Peace :: 
(it's fun because it's an alliteration...right? I think so.)

Step One: PRAY
Duh. Right? Well, you'd think so, but when was the last time you prayed and asked God to reveal the enemy's schemes in your heart and life? Are you even aware of the places he's fired at you and guided that arrow right through the chink in your armor? He doesn't fire where you're strong, he fires where you're weak. He guides that arrow right past the plated armor and into the fleshy, exposed part of you. Many times, we're so accustomed to living with, medicating, making excuses for or working around the arrow, we've forgotten that it's sin and isn't something we should be catering to. Sometimes we write it off as just the "way I am" or "the way God wired me" Hmmm...really? [Do not pray this prayer if you don't want God to show you.]

"God, where is the enemy firing in my life? What are the names on my arrows?"
If people's names flash into your mind, dig deeper. That person isn't your ultimate enemy...so what is? What button are they pushing? Anger? Anxiety? Depression? Jealousy? Loose speech? Insensitivity? Pride? Sexual sin? He may show you several arrows. Dig in and trust Him.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me... Psalm 139:23-24

Step Two: PRONOUNCE
Once you know the names of the arrows the enemy is firing, name them out loud or dialogue in your journal. Satan thrives in secrecy. Agree with God out loud/in writing about that sin.

"God, I agree with you that _____________ is a sin and that it's an unfruitful work of darkness. I confess that I've taken part in this, that it's from the enemy and that it's robbing me of practical, soul-level peace and distracting me from Your work all around me."

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. Ephesians 5:11

Step Three: PROCLAIM
It doesn't do any good to recognize it and name it without also being willing to submit it to Christ, realizing that apart from the work of the Holy Spirit, we are powerless to lay down anything! But, when we recognize and embrace that we have access to the Holy Spirit's power (the same power that raised Christ from the dead) and that the name of JESUS is the name with that power...it enables us the grace to submit it to Him.

"In the name of Jesus, I submit this sin of ____________ to you and ask you for the grace to put it to death in my life. I realize that I cannot do it on my own, but I believe that the power of the Holy Spirit at work inside me is sufficient!

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 1:19-20

Step Four: POSSESS
Walk FORWARD with FREEDOM, believing that you do not have to drag yourself through life in your own strength bound up, bloodied and bruised from all your encounters with the fiery arrows of the devil. There is healing and restoration to be found in Jesus. Believe Him for it. Choose each day that you will take your thoughts captive in obedience to Christ. Walk confidently in who you ARE in Christ, not sheepishly in what you've been defeated by. Live from acceptance, not for it. Believe God for the things that have been secured for you in Christ. 

"God, I believe that I'm accepted, approved, chosen, favored and deeply loved by you. I do not have to let my feelings inform me. I choose to take my thoughts and feelings captive in obedience to you by preaching the truth of the gospel to myself. I'm walking forward by your grace today and letting the peace of Christ rule in my heart."

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Pray, Pronounce, Proclaim, Possess.

You may have to do it as often as I'm currently doing it...like thousands of times a day...but each time I do it, I'm renewing my mind and I'm taking an active role in this battle for my peace rather than a passive one. Battles are waged around the world every day and every single one of them are fighting for freedom and ultimately, for peace. Wars are fought that peace may eventually reign. Will we ever have complete peace on this side of eternity? No. We are groaning for our eternal home. The whole earth groans! Will there ever be a day when we don't have to be intentional about taking our thoughts captive? No. Is it hard? Yes. So hard. Is it worth it? Yes. So worth it.

It's worth the eternal eyes. It's worth the ability to be others-focused. It's worth the resolving of the physical symptoms of fear, stress, anxiety, worry, anger, unforgiveness and the like. It's worth the actually restful sleep at night. It's worth the joy that doesn't make sense. It's worth the peace that passes understanding. It's worth being awake and aware of where God is working and where we can be involved. It's worth it. And every day, multiple times a day, it's worth asking:

What's ruling my heart right now? 
[Hint: something always is.] Colossians 3:15 says that it should be the peace of Christ that we're letting rule our hearts and along with that should be thankfulness. If the peace of Christ isn't ruling our hearts, something else is waiting to. Identify it...go through the process.

This is a journey, not a destination. I actually feel sorry for those closest to me who are probably like "oh my word, I hope she gets some practical peace...and FAST!" In fact, the minute I hit "post" on this, I'll have to start through those four steps...because the arrows will begin flying. Many of you may be so deeply entrenched in issues that you need to find a pastor or professional biblical counselor to walk you through it. There is no shame in that. I'm not going it alone either. No part of me is promoting this as "quick, four steps for success." But it's a practical path...a starting point...a plan of attack...and hopefully, it's hope.

I'm praying for all of us that our positional peace in Christ won't be the only place of peace in our hearts. It is definitely our ultimate place of peace, but in the meantime, taking our thoughts and heart/emotions captive and receiving grace to experience some practical peace might be one of the greatest Christmas gifts we receive this year.

Glory to God in the highest! And on earth, peace to those on whom His favor rests.

  





   

 











Wednesday, December 4, 2013

"i hope paul walker knew jesus" & other incriminating thoughts...

This is not an easy thing to write about...in fact, it carries with it a measure of "ick." But, I'm home while Jeffrey's out for the evening, the kids are tucked in their beds and it's just me, the dogs, Christmas lights and my thoughts. And my thoughts are going a million miles an hour. I have tons of work to do but I haven't been able to shake something that I confessed out loud earlier today and it's been eating at me ever since. So, here goes...

Paul Walker died Saturday. If you've somehow not heard by now (or don't care) just bear with me for a few minutes.

Jeffrey and I spent a wonderful few days before Thanksgiving with my brother and sister-in-law and a friend up in the snowy mountains of West Virginia. When stuck in the snow in a river house, what is there to do? Play cards and watch movies of course! So we did that. We decided one afternoon that in preparation for The Fast and the Furious Seven, we probably needed to watch Fast Four, Five and Six. Back to back. It was awesome. As is often the case when we experience anything together, Sarah and I were soon calling each of the characters by their first name in normal conversation...like they were our best friends (and we believed they were.) It was so fun and a great memory made. I felt certain that at some point we'd actually meet Vin Diesel and Paul Walker and walk right up and start a conversation with them...after all...we are BFFs. Then came my brother's group text to us on Saturday night. "Paul Walker just died in a car accident!" The replies were instantaneous. "NOOOOOOO!!!!" "Paaauuullllll!" "What? This is HORRIBLE!" And of course, it was.

Then came my next thought. "I hope Paul knew Jesus." Now, before you're like "oh my gosh, seriously??" Just hear me out. The thoughts that came after that were pretty incriminating and I believe they were probably from the Holy Spirit. "Wow...you didn't care if he knew Jesus while you were being entertained by him for 6 hours straight. In fact, you haven't even thought about his eternal destination until now." It's true. I hadn't. Not that every movie and television show and People Magazine article and celebrity twitter comment needs to be followed with "I wonder if he/she knows Jesus...I should tell them about Him!" But, it does bring up an interesting quandary for those of us who call ourselves Christ-followers, or at least, for me specifically.

I am completely confident of where I'm going to be when I exit this life and in an instant have stepped into eternity. I'll be on my face at the feet of Jesus...that's where. Until then, seems I'm pretty content to eavesdrop on the lives of celebrities via the Us Weekly app on my phone, my People Magazine plane flight purchase or whatever may come across my twitter feed. In fact, often I'm shaking my head in a "tsk tsk" way at whatever ridiculous exploits have befallen the latest tween star or saying "yes, sweetie, seems she's gotten off track and begun making some very poor decisions" when my middle schooler asks why formerly bubble-gum, family-friendly females seem to have gone off the rails and are self-destructing before our very eyes (thanks to the 24-hour media availability.) I might as well say, "Those poor celebrities...I hope when the number of days God has ordained for them is up, that they know Jesus. Until then, I'll just enjoy their movie-making and music-creating. I'll buy the media hype surrounding their lives and read about their latest fashion disasters, botched cosmetic surgeries and ridiculous night club antics. I'll shake my head appropriately but I'll still eavesdrop on their worlds through social media and believe that with 140-characters of their own words every now and then, I know them. After all, I'm good 'cause I know where I'm spending eternity." Ick.

No, this blog isn't announcing my new ministry to evangelize all the celebrities in the world. I'm sure someone somewhere already believes that's their calling. God hasn't chosen to give me that particular sphere of influence. It should also be noted that neither I, nor anyone I know, can confirm where Paul Walker is spending eternity. We didn't actually know him. But, God has used my "I hope Paul knew Jesus" thought to convict me of the fact that I hope he knew Jesus because I liked what he did for me. I was entertained. I found him to be a valuable member of society because I liked what he had to offer.

I'm not proud of it, but not ONCE recently have I thought that about my cashier at Kroger or any of the people that live in my neighborhood. I haven't thought it about the sweet older gentleman who does the maintenance and HVAC repairs at our home. I haven't thought it about our landlord. I haven't thought it about the lady who delivers our mail or about the person who colors my hair. Not the chinese take-out lady (who has our entire order memorized), not the mexican restaurant waitress who shoots the breeze at our table every time we're there, not our favorite Long Horn server who remembers us, chats with us serves us when we're there having lunch meetings. I haven't thought about it because frankly, those people are just passing by me in this life...going about their business while I go about mine with my head buried in my phone most of the time and working at a church making my living telling kids about Jesus...ahem. Do you see the ridiculous irony?

I spend my days crafting creative ways to make the Gospel come alive for kids and yet the people I interact with outside of church regularly haven't ranked high enough to even make the "I hope they know" list. That's reprehensible. Why? Because just like Paul Walker, each of them have an ordained number of days. Their days have already been written in God's book. And their days are being spent in MY sphere of influence while I in turn spend my days knowing far too much worthless information about celebrities I'll never meet, much less know. Apparently I'm more comfortable just having people come to me each Sunday to hear about Jesus, rather than taking Jesus to them...where they are.

No, not by beating them over the head with the Gospel in order to feel better about my spirituality...but by developing relationships. By caring about them as people. By not looking for what they can do for me, but by realizing that they were fashioned and created by Him. By believing that availability and willingness are the first steps. By knowing that it's not ultimately up to me, but the Holy Spirit to draw them. By being awake to the people God has placed all around me that need the hope I've already grasped. By seeing past what they do for me to who they are.

I'm disgusted frankly. I'm bothered by the number of opportunities that I am increasingly aware that I'm squandering. I wonder how many people's days written in God's book have "meet and interact with Shannon" as part of them only to be swallowed up in another wasted opportunity. I don't only want to consider things in light of eternity when another celebrity dies. In my sphere of influence, I want to be thinking not only "I hope they know," but "God, how do you want to use ME to tell them?" I should mention that Louie challenged our staff in our meeting today with what God is doing in his heart on this very subject and he'll do a fine job of articulating that when he determines to, but ever since this afternoon, when I confessed my thought process, it has eaten me up and disconcerted me as I think about what any of us who know Jesus should hope for the people around us. After all, there's only actually ONE real celebrity. Only one Person worth knowing as much as we possibly can about and then telling others so that they can know too. There are a couple of people who sum it up much better than me:

“I believe that entertainment and amusements are the work of the Enemy to keep dying men from knowing they're dying; and to keep enemies of God from remembering that they're enemies.” A.W. Tozer

"Don’t wait for a feeling or love in order to share Christ with a stranger. You already love your heavenly Father, and you know that this stranger is created by Him, but separated from Him, so take those first steps in evangelism because you love God. It is not primarily out of compassion for humanity that we share our faith or pray for the lost; it is first of all, love for God.” John Piper 

“The hope that we have in Christ is so gloriously wonderful, why would we ever keep it to ourselves? When we refuse to communicate the Gospel there is nothing more cruel or selfish in all of humanity. Because we do believe that it is the only way-Christ is the only name-by which men and women can be saved. And to withhold that name and that news because it's difficult is on par with any other atrocious thing humanity has ever seen.” Britt Merrick

Writing it down, posting this, putting it out front rather than behind my full calendar of spiritual activities doesn't make me more accountable. Just more aware. More awake. I've always been fully accountable for what I'm doing with the days God's ordained for me and the people He's placed in them. Now it's time to actually GO, rather than wait for people to come. Maybe it's just me though. Some people are great at this. Me? I'm in ministry for a living and confess that I'm not great at it. But I want to be.

Who is in your sphere of influence?

Do they know Jesus?

Do you care?