that time i was poisoned...

Sometimes the most ridiculous things occur in my life. When this happens, I quickly have two choices. 1) spin down into a spiral of "why is this happening?!?!" or  2) choose to believe that God's got something IN it FOR me. What do I base this assumption on? I base it on the irrefutable fact that He's the sovereign, intentional Ordainer of Days. Absolutely nothing that happens to you or me is random. All of it has the potential for teaching and shaping if we'll pull back to 40,000 feet and survey the landscape. So, with vulnerability, I'll say that I often choose option 1 and then later choose option 2. Today, I chose both…and also today…I was poisoned.

My kids have been sick since Friday. This is noteworthy because since we moved into this house in June, they've been relatively well. This week they've complained of headaches, aches, pains and so forth. It's been weird, but with no other symptoms, not overly concerning.

Today I went and taught chapel at their school while they stayed home. As soon as I walked in the door after chapel, I said to Jeffrey, "Something doesn't smell right." He said, "I thought that too but I called the guy and he said that it was the blah blah blah burning off the blah blah blah because of the new blah blah blah." (We just started using our heat about a week and a half ago and that's the only thing at our house that uses gas.) I didn't feel great about the answer that Jeffrey had gotten, but hey, I'm not an HVAC person so what do I know? I sat down to cuddle with my ailing kids and try to get some work done. Within 3 or 4 hours I had a headache and was having trouble concentrating. I was reading and feeling lightheaded and Jeffrey was beginning to have trouble focusing. Before long, he too had a headache and as if on cue, Jack yelled "ugh! I have a headache!" Immediately I had that feeling in my spirit that something was wrong.

Jeffrey called the gas company and told them all that I just told you. They said, "Please evacuate the house immediately." So we did. Kids, us, dog…all into the car. I kid you not, we were in the car for six hours. I could have gone to Panama City Beach or a host of other places in the time we spent evacuated in that car. "Why didn't you just go somewhere else?" Well, half of us were in pajamas and Jeffrey was busy standing over the gas man's shoulder trying to figure out what was happening. The man walked through the front door of our house and his "hazard" alarm went off immediately. He wasn't very forthcoming with the information initially, but we eventually were told…carbon monoxide.

As more research was done, he discovered that all of the exhaust vents that are related to our furnaces are faulty. How are they faulty? Well, once the gas comes in and is burned, the toxic fumes should be sent outside via the exhaust vents while the heat is sent through the air vents into the home. Our exhaust vents have lost their seals. Not only was heat coming into our home and keeping us toasty warm on these chilly nights, it was bringing with it carbon monoxide and other toxic fumes…right through the vents. It was literally poisoning us.

The kids were getting the worst of the impact because they were never leaving the house. Jeffrey and I were going to work, going to meetings, heading out to celebrate friends, driving back and forth to school, running errands, switching off staying with the kiddos…but poor Maggie, Jack and Ali were just sitting in it. The quick conclusion to this part of the story is: the house has aired out for 6 hours and received "all clear" signals on all three carbon monoxide alarms, the kids have bounced back remarkably after many hours of fresh air, the gas has been disconnected and will not be reconnected until everything is repaired and done properly (it isn't our issue as it was a problem before we ever came along and rented this house), and my parents loaned us space heaters so that we won't freeze while the heat gets worked on and returned to full functioning, non-poisonous, healthy, working order. Hooray!

Oh, but you knew there was more right?

The events of this day (and the six hours in the car) have left me with more than a little bit of time to consider the implications of this same kind of scenario for us as believers. I'll spell out a few of the epiphanies that I had today…because ALL of us, whether we realize it or not, have the potential to be poisoned.

Poison is: a substance that, when introduced into or absorbed by a living organism, causes death or injury, especially one that kills by rapid action even in a small quantity.

1. All poison isn't dressed as poison.
People, the enemy of our souls isn't going to resort to announcing his brand of poison by labeling it with a skull and cross bones (most of the time). Carbon Monoxide is odorless, colorless and tasteless. Sometimes the poison of our souls will be invisible, but sometimes, in order to get us to absorb it, he'll need to dress it up as something that doesn't seem harmful at all. “You'd be surprised what poison is often hidden in the most beautiful camouflage.” Evelyn Klebert

2. It's impossible to be poisoned by proxy.
Poison must be introduced into or absorbed by. You have to come in contact with poison in order to be poisoned. Whether you realize it or not, if you're experiencing symptoms of soul poisoning, then you've come into contact with poison at some point. Start doing the research. Start asking yourself why you react that way, fly off the handle like that, are relentlessly jealous of him/her, why he pushes all your buttons, why you're so cynical about them, why you've written her off, why sarcasm is way easier than vulnerability…these are some of the side effects of soul poisoning. At some point, you were in contact with poison and were inhaling its toxic fumes without realizing it. Whether it was introduced into your soul by someone else or absorbed willingly by you, the fact remains: it's there and it has to be dealt with.

3. Poison will hide in plain sight.
I was being poisoned in. my. house. I was going about my life, feeling freedom to move around my space, freedom to curl up there and be totally me, freedom not to dress up, freedom not to clean up, freedom not to look around me…freedom. I was warm, cozy and comfortable. But then, out of nowhere, BAM! I began to experience things IN my house that shouldn't be part OF my house. Little did I know that along with the heat and the comfort also came the poison. In fact, the poison went so far as to come through the exact. same. vent. The bad came right on in with the good. It was hiding in plain sight. Does something feel off in your soul or your world? Are there things IN your soul that shouldn't be part OF your soul? Is it possible there's some poison hiding right in front of you? Take the time to listen to that part of you that says, "Something isn't right." Then do the research. If I hadn't spoken up to Jeffrey when I did, I don't know or want to think about how our day would have escalated. We were all at risk already, but it took me speaking up to confirm what he was already feeling. Do you have someone to speak up to? They just may be feeling what you're feeling…

4. The seals are what save.
Burning natural gas gives off toxic fumes along with the heat. It's all part of the science of it. The seals around the exhaust vent are in place to make sure what's toxic goes OUT while what's good stays IN. We're all human. We all have toxins…sins. The seal that the Holy Spirit provides for us ensures that with proper accountability, diligence and guarding of our hearts, the toxins go out and the good stays in. When that still small voice is disregarded, when the system breaks down, when the accountability quiets…the toxins that should be going out, all too often come in and when they do, they poison us and those around us. Sometimes quickly, but sometimes very slowly. The faulty seals in this house aren't our fault…the seals had been eroding over years of neglect. But even though it wasn't our fault, we were the ones being poisoned. Can you relate? Is there an area of your life where you sense a gap in the seals? What would others say about the seals in your life? In any person, system, organization, team or family, the seals are what save. If toxins are coming in, there's a problem with the seals. Identify the gaps and get busy with the repairs.

5. The longer you stay, the sicker you'll be.
Funny thing about poison…the longer you're exposed, the sicker it makes you. My kids were sickest because they were exposed longest. Of my kids, Jack was sick first and worst, because he is weakest to begin with. But, no matter how strong or healthy you are, you aren't stronger than poison. Eventually…it will best you. Get out into the fresh air, get some perspective and get a plan for getting rid of it. Are you getting sicker? Do you think the poison you're allowing into your soul won't affect you? Think you're healthier than that? Stronger than that? Think again. You're no match for the enemy. But fortunately, greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. (I John 4:4) Pray for discernment and perspective as you do an inventory of the health of your soul, your relationships and the situations you find yourself in. If there's sickness, there may be poison.

5. Get rid of the poison, not the house.
There was a moment today when I considered moving. Literally packing up after five months of living here and moving. "It's everywhere! It has infected all of us!" and that was in fact true. But, poison has an antidote. If caught in time, it doesn't have to destroy. Instead, it can BE destroyed. The antidote to carbon monoxide? Oxygen. Good old available everywhere oxygen. With every single inhale of oxygen, the levels of carbon monoxide in infected blood are reduced. Carbon monoxide is no match for oxygen. You too have the antidote for the poison you're facing in your life. Satan has been defeated and his poison is no match for the blood of Christ  and the grace which covers you. That blood of Jesus is sure fire destruction for the poison that may be robbing you. The whole house doesn't have to be thrown out, but the poison has to be dealt with so that the antidote of fresh oxygen can once again invade purely. Breathe in grace. Don't give up and throw it all out just because the poison got in. Let the Redeemer redeem.

And redeem He will. Because that's Who He is and what He does.

Rise up, be our help, And redeem us for the sake of Your lovingkindness. Psalm 44:26