my hope...

People. If you do nothing else today...READ THIS. It's from my friend Karla Garrard (garrardpartyof7.wordpress.com.) It's beautifully authentic and comes in the midst of all the uncertainties and joys of adoption. But, this isn't just about adoption. It's about good old fashioned HOPE. And we can all use some of that. Read on.

My Hope. by Karla Garrard

Can man live on bread alone?  I know what the Bible says and I do agree that my very breath is dependent upon God Almighty.  I understand and KNOW that my soul is only alive when the word of God is coursing in and through my very being.  But…

Woman can survive on bread, cheese, chocolate, grape juice and the occasional salad.  How do I know this?  Because with no oven, a small sink for washing dishes, a cast iron skillet on a gas burner, and a small frig, we have eaten our weight in grilled cheese sandwiches.  I did make good choices with whole wheat bread and nice cheese…but goodness.  I may have cured my addiction to cheese because I am not sure I will ever want any after this.  (Just kidding!  That won’t last. Just like my Coca Cola issues.  I haven’t had one in over a month due to disliking international Coke, but I am sure I will have a McDonald’s Coke before I even set foot in my house!)  It’s funny, this human body and psyche.  God is such a genius, really.

I had some good news this morning about our process.  I was thrown a bone of ‘hope’ in the form of this question- “Would you be able to leave earlier if your papers were done and appointments finished?  Could you fly earlier?”

Well, um, let me think about it for 2 SECONDS…YES!  

And then I ran a few errands to buy some salad and bananas…yes, and cheese.  I went to the post office to mail postcards for a friend and then came back to the apartment, as we call it.  (We have been careful to make a distinction between this apartment and home.  We want the kids to know that we are not home yet.  And they understand.  I expect there will be more transitioning when we are really home.)  After feeding the kids lunch, coloring a few hundred pictures, and having a dance party/worship party, it was nap time/quiet time.  I sat down and began to dwell a bit on this morning’s proposal.

Lord, dare I hope?

Fear. Doubt.  Unbelief.  Anxiety.  Timidity.  The list can go on.  These foul pesky fellas begin to have a party in my mind, will and emotions.

Dare I hope?  And, what is my hope in, really? 

Currently—

• That I get home?
• That pain would cease?  Sorrow be no more?
• That I am reunited back with our family of 7?
• That the current joy I share with my SA family not wane, as I have to leave them?

Or, over the course of my life or your life—

• That I be removed from a painful circumstance?
• That I get to go to the school of my choice?
• That I be delivered from painful friendships?
• That the mouth of the slanderer be silenced?
• That all who talk behind my back get their due?
• That I get married?  That I have kids?
• That ‘friends’ not lie to my face?
• That abuse stop and be thwarted?

Or, what about the things that we see as righteous—

• Would you give me platforms to share my faith?
• That my family be saved?
• That a wayward son or daughter be found?
• That healing take place in a loved one’s body?
• That the church grow to thousands so that many hear the gospel?
• That financial stability take place to empower more giving to missions?
• That there be a way for local and global missions to consistently take place?

And on and on and on.

In all categories, I am challenged.  From the hardest/darkest/evil times to those ‘good things’ that reflect Jesus…is our hope in the successful outcome?  The deliverance of evil?  The healed, free, loved individual?

Or, is our hope to be in Christ and Christ alone…come what may?

I am so challenged today!  Dare I hope? Yes, I am taking the dare.  I am placing my hope…placing my trust…in the One called Faithful.  I am placing my eyes on Him, the Author and Finisher!!  I am setting my heart towards Him, no matter what the outcome.  I am hoping in Jesus.  Because when I hope in a certain outcome, I am always, ALWAYS disappointed.  But when I hope in Him, He always is my ‘more than enough’.  He is so good like that.

Dare I hope?  Dare YOU hope? 

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from Him.

Truly He is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 62:5-6

Jesus, I look to You today.  Not your hands and what they can give me.  But Your face…I gaze at Your beauty and worship You.  It’s Your breath in my lungs, so I pour out my praise to You only.  Amen and amen.