Next week is going to be a big week for Christy Nockels as her latest album "Into The Glorious" releases on Tuesday. Because of what I do, I get the privilege of getting projects that come out of our organization just a little ahead of the world at large. Our team gets to start listening to the final result of what God's been brewing in the heart of an artist for months before we actually hold any product in our hands. The same has been true of "Into The Glorious."
As I've listened over and over to this record leading up to its release, it has occurred to me that the day and age we live in can often present a bit of a double-edged sword for those in ministry either in word or in song. It can be a double-edged sword because there is a fine line between making Jesus famous and making yourself famous. Between trusting Him to be faithful in delivering something where it needs to go and taking matters into your own hands to get it there. Between Jesus promotion and self promotion. Even when the promotion is of a product that makes Jesus famous and is something that He's called you to and gifted you for, it's just awkward to promote it yourself. That's what promoters are for. That's what they do. They promote things. But, now that Twitter, facebook and YouTube are on the scene, it's never been easier to promote yourself...or to broadcast yourself. I mean, you're reading this blog because I promoted it! But...I'd love to see us ramp up the promotion of others.
Don't get me wrong, those three particular tools and others like them have absolutely changed the world. When you find out about things on Twitter long before you could ever see them on the news, times have most certainly changed. I'm a Twitter user and a facebook user and see the value, the reach and the impact they can and do have. Just the same, I always find it the slightest bit awkward to see worship leaders and authors have to promote themselves...and I'm sure they find it just as awkward to figure out what to say. As I've pondered the love/hate relationship I have with social media and self promotion, I'm reminded of these scriptures:
"Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips." Proverbs 27:2
Over the course of my life, I've had opportunities to be around fairly well-known people. People that other people admire and look up to. Pastors. Worship Leaders. Authors. Speakers. Singers. Athletes. Politicians. Many of these people are people that I also looked up to. When we admire people from afar, it's fairly common to think: "I wonder what he's like off stage." "I wonder if she's as personable as she seems." "I feel like I KNOW him!" "I think we'd be friends."
Most of the time, getting to know these people has been even further confirmation of the belief in Jesus that they so passionately speak or sing of. A few times, getting closer to a person I admired has resulted in a rude awakening. I mean, the closer you get to the core of an organization, the healthier or more dysfunctional it's revealed to be, right? So it goes for a person. The more you get to know them, the more the heart of who they really are is revealed. Often for me, it's caused me to be elated with how delightful they truly are...even more so than on the platform! Unfortunately, there have been a few times when I've been grieved to realize what a grand show it all is.
My relationship with Christy has been no different. Getting closer to her personally has unmistakeably revealed who she truly is. I by no means know her better than all others, we are not BFFs or some other ridiculous string of letters. What we are is women who find ourselves in ministry together, laboring alongside one another and with that, getting to know each other. So, in the spirit of Proverbs 27:2...
The more that I've gotten to know her in the last year, the more I've been thrilled to be up close to the well from which all those God-breathed lyrics effortlessly spring. The more I've gotten to know her, the more I've rejoiced that my far away admirations have not culminated in disappointment. And, the more I've gotten to know her, the more I've come to treasure the Jesus she is so desperately in love with. She speaks life, she speaks wisdom, she feels deeply and she loves well.
At this point, I'm sure you're thinking, "What's with the love-fest? Did she ask you to write this?" The answer to that is a resounding NO. Hopefully she'll still be talking to me by the end. She's been sweet to tolerate my gushy adoration of her gift for many years now. In truth, this post is timed because I DO want you to buy her record. When she tweets about it (as well she should), I want you to promote it, retweet it, facebook it and sky-write it if you feel so led. But I want you to do it knowing a little bit more about this woman from my view. Isn't it always good to hear that someone is as they seem?
Ultimately, along with promoting her record, I want to promote her. This woman has a heart of gold and inside it is the desire for each one of you to know intimately this Jesus of which she sings so beautifully and passionately. She's not making records and singing songs because people said she should...she's doing it because it's what she was made for. And in it is the desire to make much of Jesus so that in doing so,
you will be transformed by Him and make much of Him as well.
you'll draw near to Him and let Him draw near to you.
you'll come to Him with your every need and find in Him all you'll ever need.
This record is up close and deeply personal. It's meant to be that way. Stripped down, vulnerable, real. A reflection of the way she gets to minister most often...up close and personal. The songs pour forth lyrics that reveal her heart but in doing so they reflect what so many of us think at times but can't quite put words around. There's only one way to enjoy this record and that is REGULARLY.
Grab a cup of coffee or tea, a journal and some headphones. Put them in and shut out the static of the world around you. Close your eyes, push play and ask God to speak personally to you through what Christy has labored to pour out. Let her minister to you the way God has equipped her to. Up close and personal. You'll be glad you did.
PRE-ORDER "INTO THE GLORIOUS" HERE!
http://itunes.apple.com/us/preorder/into-the-glorious/id506196147
Now, I'll leave you with the question that has swirled in my head over the last few days...
"What do people discover about me the closer they get?"
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
hit me with your best shot...
Once upon a time, I was someone who was mightily opposed to doctor's offices, medicines (especially syrups...blech) and shots or needles of any kind. But, over the last several months, I've been dealing with some sort of heinous upper respiratory thing, the likes of which can only be combated by a steroid shot and stiff antibiotics. Now, a shot in the bum is about 70 billion slots down on my list of favorite things ever, but it's necessary nonetheless...and I've had three in the recent past.
As is often the case, it wasn't enough for just mom to be sick the last few months, so we've alternated through the kids having all sorts of maladies and issues from high fevers to puke bugs and have thrown some stitches and braces in the mix just for fun. The puke bug hit last night in our house and was 5 hours of every 30 minute wretching. Good for the abs, terrible for everything else...poor Maggie.
During Ali's bout with sickness and I mean SICKness recently, I said "Honey, we're going to take you to the doctor and get this seen about and see what we can do to help you!" To which she calmly replied (through more snot than you can imagine, a croup cough that made her sound like a baby seal and a 102 degree fever)... "I want to go to the doctor, but I'm not going to get a shot." I said, "You're not?" Her response? "No way."
I've been thinking about that seemingly innocuous conversation for a week or more. My kids actually have no problem going to the doctor. They go, sit on a table, look at shiny things, read books, play with big dinosaur action figures, step on scales, get temperatures taken by thermometers in their ears (and nowhere else...ahem), have someone come in and talk to them sweetly and tell them how big they're getting or how pretty, basically get a full body massage as the doctor checks them over, have medicine dispensed to them that tastes like bubblegum, or grape soda or any other conceivable flavor and leave with stickers and lollipops to go about their day. The only possible dark cloud in this utopia? The shot.
My children, if given the choice between a shot that would HEAL them or two and a half weeks of sickness, fevers and misery would choose the two and a half weeks. Every time. Ali was very firm in her proclamation of being glad to go to the doctor but absolutely opposed to getting a shot. Emphatic head shake and all. "No way."
Of course, I, being their wise and all-knowing mom, am starting to think "you silly, silly, child...don't you know that the shot is what you NEED? That's what's actually going to heal you and eradicate the illness! Everything else is just a band aid!" Then, as clearly as I was standing there and cocking my all-knowing head at Ali, I heard "what's your shot?"
Pardon? "You know, the thing (or things) I ask you to endure (or give up) in order to be healed? You have no problem coming to me and enjoying all that I have to offer when it's easy and attractive, but when you are tired and spent and ailing in your pursuit of holiness and I point at what is weighing you down and what you need to do or be rid of or get in check in order to be free and fulfilled, you have that same emphatic head shake...you choose the long road of laboring, bargaining and striving rather than the shot of surrender." Long swallow...
God, it's hardly the same thing. "Isn't it?"
That's how almost all of my spiritual lessons are taught by the way...through my children. And at the end of the day, it's exactly the same thing. I'd rather figure out how to rearrange, reorder, dress up, minimize and explain the things God points at in my life, rather than endure the quick, painful, but thorough obedience of surrender. I like everything fun and attractive that comes with a pursuit of holiness...churches, retreats, conferences, meaningful tweets and retweets, good books, small groups, excellent causes, missions, theology, amazing songs, corporate worship, community...
But the parts of actual holiness that can hurt? Suffering, refining, being set apart, authentic accountability, taking up the cross daily, persecution, relentless integrity, private purity, going to the ends of the earth, relational health, sacrificial generosity... When those things get pointed at, whether consciously or not, I fear I'm more apt to choose the long road of explaining, bargaining, diversion and excuse-making rather than the short SHOT of surrender.
I've realized the benefit of a shot to my physical life, and that's a day I never thought would come. I'm praying for the grace from God to embrace the benefit of a shot of surrender to my spiritual life whenever God diagnoses it as well. I can tell you one thing...I don't want my response to be "no way."
peace.
As is often the case, it wasn't enough for just mom to be sick the last few months, so we've alternated through the kids having all sorts of maladies and issues from high fevers to puke bugs and have thrown some stitches and braces in the mix just for fun. The puke bug hit last night in our house and was 5 hours of every 30 minute wretching. Good for the abs, terrible for everything else...poor Maggie.
During Ali's bout with sickness and I mean SICKness recently, I said "Honey, we're going to take you to the doctor and get this seen about and see what we can do to help you!" To which she calmly replied (through more snot than you can imagine, a croup cough that made her sound like a baby seal and a 102 degree fever)... "I want to go to the doctor, but I'm not going to get a shot." I said, "You're not?" Her response? "No way."
I've been thinking about that seemingly innocuous conversation for a week or more. My kids actually have no problem going to the doctor. They go, sit on a table, look at shiny things, read books, play with big dinosaur action figures, step on scales, get temperatures taken by thermometers in their ears (and nowhere else...ahem), have someone come in and talk to them sweetly and tell them how big they're getting or how pretty, basically get a full body massage as the doctor checks them over, have medicine dispensed to them that tastes like bubblegum, or grape soda or any other conceivable flavor and leave with stickers and lollipops to go about their day. The only possible dark cloud in this utopia? The shot.
My children, if given the choice between a shot that would HEAL them or two and a half weeks of sickness, fevers and misery would choose the two and a half weeks. Every time. Ali was very firm in her proclamation of being glad to go to the doctor but absolutely opposed to getting a shot. Emphatic head shake and all. "No way."
Of course, I, being their wise and all-knowing mom, am starting to think "you silly, silly, child...don't you know that the shot is what you NEED? That's what's actually going to heal you and eradicate the illness! Everything else is just a band aid!" Then, as clearly as I was standing there and cocking my all-knowing head at Ali, I heard "what's your shot?"
Pardon? "You know, the thing (or things) I ask you to endure (or give up) in order to be healed? You have no problem coming to me and enjoying all that I have to offer when it's easy and attractive, but when you are tired and spent and ailing in your pursuit of holiness and I point at what is weighing you down and what you need to do or be rid of or get in check in order to be free and fulfilled, you have that same emphatic head shake...you choose the long road of laboring, bargaining and striving rather than the shot of surrender." Long swallow...
God, it's hardly the same thing. "Isn't it?"
That's how almost all of my spiritual lessons are taught by the way...through my children. And at the end of the day, it's exactly the same thing. I'd rather figure out how to rearrange, reorder, dress up, minimize and explain the things God points at in my life, rather than endure the quick, painful, but thorough obedience of surrender. I like everything fun and attractive that comes with a pursuit of holiness...churches, retreats, conferences, meaningful tweets and retweets, good books, small groups, excellent causes, missions, theology, amazing songs, corporate worship, community...
But the parts of actual holiness that can hurt? Suffering, refining, being set apart, authentic accountability, taking up the cross daily, persecution, relentless integrity, private purity, going to the ends of the earth, relational health, sacrificial generosity... When those things get pointed at, whether consciously or not, I fear I'm more apt to choose the long road of explaining, bargaining, diversion and excuse-making rather than the short SHOT of surrender.
I've realized the benefit of a shot to my physical life, and that's a day I never thought would come. I'm praying for the grace from God to embrace the benefit of a shot of surrender to my spiritual life whenever God diagnoses it as well. I can tell you one thing...I don't want my response to be "no way."
peace.
Friday, January 6, 2012
a passionate perspective...
Season: a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature; a suitable or natural time or occasion. (Webster)
This particular season in my life just culminated with the end of Passion 2012 in Atlanta. What. an. experience. There is SO much in me that can't stand describing things using the same words that everyone else in the whole world uses, but unfortunately, it seems that all the appropriate words are being grabbed for by everyone who joined either in person or online, so forgive me for sounding redundant. It was amazing, epic, awe-filled, surprising, huge and awesome. It was also exhausting, emotional, sacrificial and hard. Things that are worth doing usually are. We talked in our post-conference brunch as a team today about the fact that many of us don't get to be in the room for every session because of the nature of our roles, but we no-less experience the full measure of the conference...we just do it from a different perspective. So...before I fall into a haze of Christmas decoration tear-down around the house, unpacking, laundry, school lunches and backpacks, I wanted to get some gratefulness down in writing about Passion 2012. There will most certainly be personal shout-outs because Passion 2012 is made up of people all serving and worshiping the same Person. This is just my perspective, and I didn't have the good fortune of intersecting with everyone all the time, but it's a passionate perspective nonetheless...
it all started at the end of Passion 2011...
On the last day of P2011, Louie and Shelley announced Passion 2012 in the Georgia Dome. My personal hero, Matt Floyd, immediately went to work designing the online registration system for Passion 2012. It is imperative that you understand at this moment what a GENIUS this guy is. I would say things like "it would be great if the system could..." and within moments it was done. Every transaction, registration, refund, scholarship, transfer, group and individual registration I or anyone else initiated was made possible by this guy. He would be up 'till all hours of the morning on the other side of my computer screen via ichat helping me do whatever large task was before me and in most cases making what should take hours take mere minutes by his ability to do it "on a system level" rather than making me do extra steps. Oh, and by the way, registration isn't the only computer/web-related thing Matt does for Passion Conferences and Passion City Church, but beyond his technical brilliance is his innate ability to NEVER let a stressful situation get the best of him. He always keeps his cool and quietly goes about making things amazing. If you don't know him, you should.
As I continue thinking through the list of people I'm grateful for, my brain pauses on several names...
Emily Vogeltanz - I don't know if you've ever been up close to someone as you watch them carry and steward the vision that God's given them, but I get to pretty often. Many times as a vision is headed for completion or culmination, the load becomes a much heavier one and actually getting to the finish line seems almost impossible in the last days and hours. I'm not sure that this has ever been more the case than in the culmination of the Freedom expression on the plaza at Passion 2012. The vision had taken shape many months prior in the back room of the Passion house, but the culmination was an absolute LABOR of love, weather, sweat, freezing and tears. Through it all, whether "fresh" off of an hour of sleep in the morning, or huddled up and finally having a hot meal at night, tears of exhaustion were never far and neither was Emily's firm belief that God would come through. And He did. Emily, I loved watching you trust God...and I loved even more watching God come through. Freedom!
As we rolled through registration day, it was a steady, busy flow of people. As we neared 7pm, it became evident that we weren't going to be able to start the session on time because of the still massive amount of people that needed to be registered, receive their credentials and get into a seat in the Dome. That's when Vicky Porterfield, Wendy Durnwald and their team of intercessors went to work praying for the process. We went from EVERYONE in line to NO ONE in line in a matter of 10 minutes. There is no explanation for it other than God. He sent Susanne Fatigati, Aaron Fortner and the amazing Brown Team to help and before we knew what had happened, the kids were in, the session was beginning and registration had worked. Only God...and some amazing people.
And that brings me to the best part of registration...my co-leader, sister-in-law and friend, Sarah Richards. There are not adequate words, and I'm really glad that I'm typing rather than talking because I would most assuredly cry. Getting to do the last several Passion conferences side by side with her is a privilege I'll always search for appropriate words to describe. We are the perfect complement for one another and God has blessed me completely in giving me her for this journey and in life. She is a light, has such a tender heart and loves Jesus so much. I'm a better version of myself when she's around! Okay Say Say, you ready for 2013? :)
If you've ever been around a Passion conference, then you surely know that registration doesn't just happen because of myself, Sarah or Matt, it happens because of the beautiful team of Registration Doorholders that God raises up each year. They are pumped, ready and capable and they make an otherwise menial task fun and exciting. What's more...they do it as a ministry to these students and leaders...they know they're the first face of Passion and they do all they can to be sure that students are welcomed and readied to encounter Jesus in these days. And, to our core team for registration, set-up, tear down and info booths: Tammy Pruden, Meredith Mitchell, Alicia Scott, Mark Henderson, Joshua Berry, Doug, Christy, Haley and Conner Monda, Stacey, Joey, Sophie and Olivia Windover, Melanie Amos, Chelsea Ponder, Kimberly Burks, Livia Maia, Hannah Rosbrook, and Alan Putnam...THANK YOU for staying on the journey with us and for seeing it through to the end! You're amazing!
I'm sure this will seem trivial to most, but to me, it was a glorious moment. I mentioned in passing one day on site (and can't even remember to whom) that I never drink coffee at Passion because I am so used to using hazelnut creamer out of the container in my fridge and don't really know how to convert the little one serving creamer packets to that. So, I usually just punt on coffee and choose something else. Would you believe that the next morning there were two containers of hazelnut creamer in the office fridge for me? I HAD COFFEE EVERY MORNING OF THE CONFERENCE! That may seem stupid, but that is just one evidence of how detailed and caring Jon Ackley-Jelinek and our Hospitality Team are. He'd heard that I wanted something like that, got the details and made it happen. That's what they did for everyone in the building all week. And this girl was supremely grateful for specially-bought creamer. It's the little things!
Speaking of little things, Passion does a phenomenal job of appreciation. When I arrived in my hotel room, there was a specially made basket waiting for me with all sorts of little goodies. The best thing about the basket was that they were all things that were my favorites. They'd been specifically picked by Courtney Henry and placed in my room because they were things I like. Courtney and her team did that over and over and over in various hotel rooms for our team. Not an easy task...but always one she lovingly pores over in the weeks leading up to the conference. What a neat role to play...serving others so they can serve others, and so on. Courtney, thank you for knowing me well and loving me well! I love getting to be on this journey with you and I love YOU!
At a couple of points during Passion, things were happening that were overwhelming and emotional and needed immediate attention. I won't go into all the details because they're not important. What is important are the people who JUMPED to remedy, transport, assess and walk alongside as these things were handled. They know how they helped, but God only knows how they ministered. Jay Desai, Lori Mallard, Renee McKenzie, Kristen Franklin...thank you for being at the right places at the right times with the right abilities and the right words to lend to the situation(s). Grateful for each of you.
There will be NO way to actually capture everyone that I crossed paths with this week that made an impact on me...and in fact, even as I know I'm only going to mention two more, three or four are making their way into my brain. Maybe I can write a second post someday...
Misty Paige. I don't know how you carried what you carried, but I know that you did it well! Even though I think in logistics, I am still in awe of your ability to not only think in logistics, but execute and lead the logistics of this conference so well. You are ALWAYS forthcoming with information, follow up, clarity and helpful details. You've thought things through far past the point where everyone else stops thinking about it or has never started. You never let the details eclipse Jesus and for that balance, I'm so grateful. Thank you for how well you've led, journeyed and conquered! Love you! Take a little breather... :)
Cheryl Bell... I will never know how you can carry all the details of every team and person in your head and recall them at any time, I will never know how you manage to never lose your cool and never panic or respond sharply and I will never know how you're still standing at the end of 18 and 20 hour days and then get up to do it all again the next day. But, what I do know is WHY you do it and WHO you do it for. Thank you for your leadership, for your transparency and for your patience with me. I am grateful for all we've walked through and look forward to the journey ahead...
Passion is always an amazing experience. God is always an amazing God, so there's almost no way that it won't be. But, to all the people who take care of all the details...those I've named above and the countless that I haven't...I think of the illustration of the swan...you are truly paddling furiously under the water so that the swan can glide across the lake without so much as a ripple. Freedom rang, people gave, Jesus was lifted up, those who were dead are now alive!!!
For me personally, I got to have my kids there for some select times with Jeffrey. This was their first experience of Passion...specifically registration and their personal favorite...Lecrae. You're never really sure how much your kids are absorbing and there wasn't a lot of time for conversation in the midst of it. But, they were impacted and I'm grateful. Jack's note proves it. :) The picture of Ali is a direct representation of what I'll be doing for the next week on a cruise to Mexico with my hubby. She was completely worn out by her Passion experience...and those two wristbands won't come off of Maggie, Jack or Ali for months...which is a testament to how Passion just tends to stick with you...encounters with Jesus are like that...no matter which perspective you look from.
peace.
This particular season in my life just culminated with the end of Passion 2012 in Atlanta. What. an. experience. There is SO much in me that can't stand describing things using the same words that everyone else in the whole world uses, but unfortunately, it seems that all the appropriate words are being grabbed for by everyone who joined either in person or online, so forgive me for sounding redundant. It was amazing, epic, awe-filled, surprising, huge and awesome. It was also exhausting, emotional, sacrificial and hard. Things that are worth doing usually are. We talked in our post-conference brunch as a team today about the fact that many of us don't get to be in the room for every session because of the nature of our roles, but we no-less experience the full measure of the conference...we just do it from a different perspective. So...before I fall into a haze of Christmas decoration tear-down around the house, unpacking, laundry, school lunches and backpacks, I wanted to get some gratefulness down in writing about Passion 2012. There will most certainly be personal shout-outs because Passion 2012 is made up of people all serving and worshiping the same Person. This is just my perspective, and I didn't have the good fortune of intersecting with everyone all the time, but it's a passionate perspective nonetheless...
it all started at the end of Passion 2011...
On the last day of P2011, Louie and Shelley announced Passion 2012 in the Georgia Dome. My personal hero, Matt Floyd, immediately went to work designing the online registration system for Passion 2012. It is imperative that you understand at this moment what a GENIUS this guy is. I would say things like "it would be great if the system could..." and within moments it was done. Every transaction, registration, refund, scholarship, transfer, group and individual registration I or anyone else initiated was made possible by this guy. He would be up 'till all hours of the morning on the other side of my computer screen via ichat helping me do whatever large task was before me and in most cases making what should take hours take mere minutes by his ability to do it "on a system level" rather than making me do extra steps. Oh, and by the way, registration isn't the only computer/web-related thing Matt does for Passion Conferences and Passion City Church, but beyond his technical brilliance is his innate ability to NEVER let a stressful situation get the best of him. He always keeps his cool and quietly goes about making things amazing. If you don't know him, you should.
As I continue thinking through the list of people I'm grateful for, my brain pauses on several names...
Emily Vogeltanz - I don't know if you've ever been up close to someone as you watch them carry and steward the vision that God's given them, but I get to pretty often. Many times as a vision is headed for completion or culmination, the load becomes a much heavier one and actually getting to the finish line seems almost impossible in the last days and hours. I'm not sure that this has ever been more the case than in the culmination of the Freedom expression on the plaza at Passion 2012. The vision had taken shape many months prior in the back room of the Passion house, but the culmination was an absolute LABOR of love, weather, sweat, freezing and tears. Through it all, whether "fresh" off of an hour of sleep in the morning, or huddled up and finally having a hot meal at night, tears of exhaustion were never far and neither was Emily's firm belief that God would come through. And He did. Emily, I loved watching you trust God...and I loved even more watching God come through. Freedom!
As we rolled through registration day, it was a steady, busy flow of people. As we neared 7pm, it became evident that we weren't going to be able to start the session on time because of the still massive amount of people that needed to be registered, receive their credentials and get into a seat in the Dome. That's when Vicky Porterfield, Wendy Durnwald and their team of intercessors went to work praying for the process. We went from EVERYONE in line to NO ONE in line in a matter of 10 minutes. There is no explanation for it other than God. He sent Susanne Fatigati, Aaron Fortner and the amazing Brown Team to help and before we knew what had happened, the kids were in, the session was beginning and registration had worked. Only God...and some amazing people.
And that brings me to the best part of registration...my co-leader, sister-in-law and friend, Sarah Richards. There are not adequate words, and I'm really glad that I'm typing rather than talking because I would most assuredly cry. Getting to do the last several Passion conferences side by side with her is a privilege I'll always search for appropriate words to describe. We are the perfect complement for one another and God has blessed me completely in giving me her for this journey and in life. She is a light, has such a tender heart and loves Jesus so much. I'm a better version of myself when she's around! Okay Say Say, you ready for 2013? :)
If you've ever been around a Passion conference, then you surely know that registration doesn't just happen because of myself, Sarah or Matt, it happens because of the beautiful team of Registration Doorholders that God raises up each year. They are pumped, ready and capable and they make an otherwise menial task fun and exciting. What's more...they do it as a ministry to these students and leaders...they know they're the first face of Passion and they do all they can to be sure that students are welcomed and readied to encounter Jesus in these days. And, to our core team for registration, set-up, tear down and info booths: Tammy Pruden, Meredith Mitchell, Alicia Scott, Mark Henderson, Joshua Berry, Doug, Christy, Haley and Conner Monda, Stacey, Joey, Sophie and Olivia Windover, Melanie Amos, Chelsea Ponder, Kimberly Burks, Livia Maia, Hannah Rosbrook, and Alan Putnam...THANK YOU for staying on the journey with us and for seeing it through to the end! You're amazing!
I'm sure this will seem trivial to most, but to me, it was a glorious moment. I mentioned in passing one day on site (and can't even remember to whom) that I never drink coffee at Passion because I am so used to using hazelnut creamer out of the container in my fridge and don't really know how to convert the little one serving creamer packets to that. So, I usually just punt on coffee and choose something else. Would you believe that the next morning there were two containers of hazelnut creamer in the office fridge for me? I HAD COFFEE EVERY MORNING OF THE CONFERENCE! That may seem stupid, but that is just one evidence of how detailed and caring Jon Ackley-Jelinek and our Hospitality Team are. He'd heard that I wanted something like that, got the details and made it happen. That's what they did for everyone in the building all week. And this girl was supremely grateful for specially-bought creamer. It's the little things!
Speaking of little things, Passion does a phenomenal job of appreciation. When I arrived in my hotel room, there was a specially made basket waiting for me with all sorts of little goodies. The best thing about the basket was that they were all things that were my favorites. They'd been specifically picked by Courtney Henry and placed in my room because they were things I like. Courtney and her team did that over and over and over in various hotel rooms for our team. Not an easy task...but always one she lovingly pores over in the weeks leading up to the conference. What a neat role to play...serving others so they can serve others, and so on. Courtney, thank you for knowing me well and loving me well! I love getting to be on this journey with you and I love YOU!
At a couple of points during Passion, things were happening that were overwhelming and emotional and needed immediate attention. I won't go into all the details because they're not important. What is important are the people who JUMPED to remedy, transport, assess and walk alongside as these things were handled. They know how they helped, but God only knows how they ministered. Jay Desai, Lori Mallard, Renee McKenzie, Kristen Franklin...thank you for being at the right places at the right times with the right abilities and the right words to lend to the situation(s). Grateful for each of you.
There will be NO way to actually capture everyone that I crossed paths with this week that made an impact on me...and in fact, even as I know I'm only going to mention two more, three or four are making their way into my brain. Maybe I can write a second post someday...
Misty Paige. I don't know how you carried what you carried, but I know that you did it well! Even though I think in logistics, I am still in awe of your ability to not only think in logistics, but execute and lead the logistics of this conference so well. You are ALWAYS forthcoming with information, follow up, clarity and helpful details. You've thought things through far past the point where everyone else stops thinking about it or has never started. You never let the details eclipse Jesus and for that balance, I'm so grateful. Thank you for how well you've led, journeyed and conquered! Love you! Take a little breather... :)
Cheryl Bell... I will never know how you can carry all the details of every team and person in your head and recall them at any time, I will never know how you manage to never lose your cool and never panic or respond sharply and I will never know how you're still standing at the end of 18 and 20 hour days and then get up to do it all again the next day. But, what I do know is WHY you do it and WHO you do it for. Thank you for your leadership, for your transparency and for your patience with me. I am grateful for all we've walked through and look forward to the journey ahead...
Passion is always an amazing experience. God is always an amazing God, so there's almost no way that it won't be. But, to all the people who take care of all the details...those I've named above and the countless that I haven't...I think of the illustration of the swan...you are truly paddling furiously under the water so that the swan can glide across the lake without so much as a ripple. Freedom rang, people gave, Jesus was lifted up, those who were dead are now alive!!!
For me personally, I got to have my kids there for some select times with Jeffrey. This was their first experience of Passion...specifically registration and their personal favorite...Lecrae. You're never really sure how much your kids are absorbing and there wasn't a lot of time for conversation in the midst of it. But, they were impacted and I'm grateful. Jack's note proves it. :) The picture of Ali is a direct representation of what I'll be doing for the next week on a cruise to Mexico with my hubby. She was completely worn out by her Passion experience...and those two wristbands won't come off of Maggie, Jack or Ali for months...which is a testament to how Passion just tends to stick with you...encounters with Jesus are like that...no matter which perspective you look from.
peace.
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| jack's note of encouragement for lecrae |
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| rest... |
Thursday, October 27, 2011
change of plans...
I'm on vacation this week. Well, technically it was supposed to be a VAcation, but instead turned into a STAYcation. Before this week, I honestly thought staycations were ridiculous and sorry excuses for vacations. Now I know that sometimes there is no other choice. The ironic thing is that this vacation anticipation has been building for quite some time. The last time we planned a vacation, we procrastinated for so long in planning anything that we just punted on the whole idea and skipped vacation all together. How pathetic is that? So THIS time we planned. We worked out the details, we reserved the dates, we planned to take the kids out of school, I got vacation time approved at work, I crammed in creative meetings and emails and tied up any loose ends that I could think of. We were excited! Then, about two days before leaving, things just didn't work out. Plans fell through and we were no longer vacating. We were staycating.
This past weekend, people were asking where we were going and what we were doing and we would say "well, our plans fell through" or "we had a change of plan". Then, in a rather nonchalant way, I said to my mom... "but I mean, God is sovereign, so if He wants us to stay home then there must be a reason..."
That statement has been absolutely haunting me ever since. Not because it's not true...but because it is! The question I've had for myself is: "so...why isn't that always your response when your plans change?" Do I really believe that God has a better plan when it isn't in line with what I originally wanted? The vacation/staycation thing was pretty easy to feel good about because it was between the original plan, which I really liked, or staying home, which I also really like! (side note: I'm a pretty reclusive homebody if left to myself...so the prospect of staying home for a week with no agenda makes the recluse in me rather giddy...)
The more I've pondered my off the cuff remark to my mom, the more I've contemplated sovereignty and its close companion, providence.
Webster defines "sovereignty" as:
supreme excellence
supreme power
freedom from external control : autonomy
controlling influence
Webster defines "providence" as:
divine guidance or care
God, conceived as the power sustaining and guiding human destiny
Hmmm...so basically I said to my mom: "but I mean, God, being the supreme example of excellence and power and being totally autonomous as well as the controlling influence in my life, clearly exercised His divine guidance and care over our lives and guided our destiny by causing us to stay home...so He must have a reason."
Again, that's a lot easier for me to stomach as well as to rattle off these lips when the two options are equally palatable to me. It becomes a little harder when...
- my house in California is still hanging as an albatross around my neck with no end in sight and no conceivable chance to get out from under the financial pit of quicksand that it has become. (even though the mall across the street from it has been set on fire twice...TWICE since we moved. Could the flames not have just leapt across the street and burned the house to the ground?? Is that too much to ask?? I realize that seems a bit morbid and desperate, but hey...that's where I am on the subject.)
- I feel a very strong sense of preparation and instruction going on in my heart for something, but still feel "wait and learn" as the predominant mandate. Patience never has been a virtue I've possessed for any length of time.
- I pray and pray and pray for something...even PLEAD...and God doesn't seem to make any move in the direction of my prayers.
Those are just a few examples, and there are many more, so needless to say (but I'm saying it anyway) I am very aware of some truths that need to continue to sink into my life and heart and take root.
Nothing touches me or my life that is not first sifted through the hand of God. Nothing. See, that's the thing about being in charge of every person and thing in the whole universe. Nothing happens without your ok.
My plans are just that...my plans. God's plan is the one that will actually get carried out. There's no such thing as a change of plans, thwarted plans or last minute considerations in God's plan. When my plans coincide with God's plans, then there should be gratefulness that I am a part of His story! When they don't, then there should be gratefulness that God is carrying out HIS plan whether I see, understand or like it and that there's an invitation to join Him. (There should also still be gratefulness that I am part of His story!)
Interestingly, I have HUGE PLANS for this weekend and am beyond hopeful that they're also in God's plans for me as well. This weekend I get to experience my very first EVER college football game. In Jacksonville Florida. That's right....FLORIDA vs. GEORGIA baby!!!! I'm a little bit ecstatic and have no doubt it will be an experience to remember. At least that's what everybody tells me! But, as excited as I am I do feel like I need to apply this scripture to this and all future scenarios in my life:
"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."" James 4:14-15
If the Lord wills. This needs to be the pre-cursor statement of my life.
So...if the Lord wills, I'll be joining half of the people in Jacksonville on Saturday and screaming GO GATORS!!!!!!!! at the top of my lungs. Here's hoping!
Maybe this staycation was simply a tool to learn about the sovereignty and providence of God. I may not ever know a specific reason, but there's rest to be found in the fact that He knows everything that I don't and He orchestrates everything that I can't. I love that.
peace.
Friday, September 2, 2011
top ten must - haves for fall...
I was so glad to see the calendar change to September yesterday! Even the weather was cooperating with mild temperatures and some sprinkling here and there. In my opinion, September is one of the BEST months of the year, second only to December which houses my hands-down favorite holiday of all time. September is amazing because it signals the end of summer (and in Georgia, SWELTERING temps) and ushers in crisp air, changing leaves and open windows. It also combines my two sports loves...major league baseball and the postseason, as well as college football! Is there anything better? I'm particularly looking forward to fall in Georgia this year because for the last five years, we've been in California. Historically, California is God's country when it comes to beauty and weather, but in the particular category of fall, it comes up rather short. In my experience, California switches right from summer to winter in most cases and just skips over fall. I'm looking forward once again to the proper progression of seasons. As I was pondering the transition to fall, I realized that I was taking mental notes of all the things I needed to be sure I had and was excited to be able to use...so I thought I'd share what are (in my humble opinion) the top ten MUST HAVES for fall. These are in no particular order, by the way. All of them are grand and don't deserve to have their egos bruised by a ranking. So, without further adieu...
10) BOOTS
No, not ridiculous boots like these. Sassy boots. Knee boots, ankle boots, high-heeled boots, Ugg boots, furry cuffed boots, sweater boots, rain boots...boots. Bye bye flip flops and relentless pedicures. Hello socks, skinny jeans and sassy boots. Welcome. Back. Boots.
9) SOUPS
I'm so excited to be able to indulge in warm, comfort food again! These particular soups are my favorite, though they are a little pricey. You can find them in the soup aisle and all you do is add water to their variety of different flavors. I also take the time to add broccoli florets, cauliflower or chunks of chicken to make a particularly hearty soup. It also makes a half gallon! Great to eat on for a couple of days and a quick and warm lunch solution. This is also a great time for the return of tortilla soup, our family favorite. Yum. Yum. Yum.
8) SWEATSHIRTS & HOODIES
With cooler temps come LAYERS! Finally! I have found that a good pullover sweatshirt or zip up hoodie comes in quite handy and I usually keep one in the car for unexpected outside excursions or relentlessly air-conditioned buildings. Here you can also see the beautiful marriage of baseball and college football that I mentioned earlier. Three cheers for layers!!
7) SCARVES
I know, I know, fall isn't the only time scarves are appropriate now that there are summer scarves. BUT, fall is the first time they're cozy and helpful for anything other than fashion. I have cabillions of scarves. It's gluttonous really. But, they are truly the perfect fall accessory and immediately spice up my go-to clothing colors of black, grey and chocolate brown. Scarf it up!
6) SIGNATURE SCENT(S)
I'm sure you're thinking "Really? Signature scents?" But it's true! Now, I'm not talking about your breezy Bath & Body Works spritzes or the Dove body spray line. Those are good for summer and are light, which is what summer calls for. But, for fall, I'm saying good, quality stuff. Eu de toilette. Parfum. Why? Because all those scarves that I mentioned earlier are going to smell like your signature scent. Unless you wash your scarf after each wear (which is terrible for them, by the way), then it's going to smell uniquely like you. And you want that to be a good, rich, nostalgic smell...not an alcohol-filled cheap smell which is specific to those cheap sprays mentioned earlier. I tend to prefer Daisy by Marc Jacobs and Lucky You by Lucky Brand, but that's just me. Go out and find something that's uniquely YOU.
5) BLANKETS & SNUGGIES
Fall would not be fall without something to snuggle under. This stack of blankets is right next to the leather recliner in our house so that snuggling is only a reach away. There are blankets across the back of my couch in order to support warmth while you are there as well. A snuggie has also become a must for this girl. I freeze most of the time. And...even though the commercials make everybody laugh about being able to still work on your laptop while staying warm...that's TOTALLY what they're good for. That's my snuggie on top of the pile. I know it shocks you that it's college football themed. Bring on game day!
4) FIRE
I don't really think this needs any explanation. It's fall. We get to have fires in fireplaces again. All is right with the world.
3) CANDLES
2) BOOKS
So, your candles are lit, the window is cracked, the fire is going, the soup is on, your snuggie has magically allowed your hands to be free and now all you need is a good book. I don't mean your quiet time material or your Bible in this instance because it's my assumption that you have those at hand regularly. I mean, a BOOK, something rich and engaging and that sucks you in and transports you to another place. Classics, new arrivals, biographies, mysteries...whatever floats your boat. Read. It's good for your brain! (Honorable mentions in this category: iPads, Kindles, Nooks and other e-readers...though I don't think they're as romantic and cozy as a good old-fashioned book, they do have their positives. So, settle in with one of those if you must, but do yourself a favor either way and READ!)
1) COFFEE
It may be last, but it's certainly not least. Coffee (or hot tea for you non-coffee connoisseurs) is the perfect compliment to the above must haves. It warms you from the inside out! Thanks to Keurigs and french presses and every other coffee craze of the last few years, gone are the traditional days of old, boring coffee. You can get it in every flavor imaginable and can make enough only for yourself. There's no waste! What's not to love?
So there you have it. Those are the components of my perfect fall...
What are yours?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
two truths & a lie...
I love Diet Coke. Period. Diet Dr. Pepper.......even better. I truly love them, have enjoyment whilst drinking them and crave them at certain times. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted in the sense that I can't stop, but I would say that I'm addicted in the fact that I LOVE them, would choose them over any other drink option any day, any time (breakfast, lunch or dinner) and suffer withdrawals when not drinking them. Yeah, ok.......I'm completely addicted.
I've known about this addiction issue for quite some time, but this is the first time that I've been comfortable enough to admit my addiction. After all, the truth sets you free, right?
Interestingly, my addiction began as repulsion. You see, I was addicted to Coca Cola Classic before I made the switch to Diet Coke. That addiction was much the same. Loved it over every other drink option and drank it readily and often. Shortly after Jeffrey and I got married, our shared love of Coke resulted in our shared newlywed weight gain. Add the birth of Maggie and preceding pregnancy and sympathy pounds to our mix, and we were two plump, carbonated parents! We decided that something had to change. Mind you, we were not prepared to address our love of carbs of all shapes and sizes, nor our propensity for fast food due to our hectic travel-heavy lifestyles, but we zeroed in on the one thing we thought we could do. Switch from Coke to Diet Coke. You see, one 12 ounce can of Coca Cola Classic has 39 grams of sugar and 140 calories!! Multiply that times the several we drank each day, not to mention the larger quantities that come as a result of the drive-thru window and their drink sizing.......and we were probably consuming in Coca Cola what should have been our entire caloric intake for the day! So.......we decided to make the switch. After all, the nutrition facts on the back of the Diet Coke can reveal a long line of (0). No fat, no carbs, no protein and best of all......NO CALORIES! So, our choice was made. The first taste of Diet Coke was nothing short of revolting to us. Where oh where was the sweet, syrupy goodness we'd grown up loving? This was a fraud! A sham! A shameful copycat of a finer soda beverage. Jeffrey was done. He'd had enough. If he couldn't drink Coke, he'd just switch to water. He wasn't putting that Diet Coke filth in his mouth again.....and he hasn't since. I made the switch though. It was a gross, saliva-repulsing process, but I finally hooked myself on the substitute. Oh, and we lost over 25 pounds collectively by changing nothing else but our choice of soda.
Fast-forward 9 years. Now, the taste of Coca Cola is repulsive to me. It tastes like drinking maple syrup. Jeffrey still doesn't consume soda and I'm still hooked to Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper. I mean, it's true what they say......"Diet Dr. Pepper really does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper." This addiction hasn't come without a reprieve here and there though. A couple of years ago, I got on a SUPER healthy kick, switched our family to organic foods, cut out carbonated beverages......PERIOD, began exercising P-90X style, lost 30 pounds, easily wore those designer jeans mentioned in the previous post and was militant about foods, cosmetics, calorie contents, empty calories, whole foods, green living, natural instead of processed and all that goes with it. I loved it! I was healthy, my family was healthy, we felt good and life was good. Then, along with job changes and life changes, our income didn't support the expense that comes along with that lifestyle and my emotions didn't support the expense that comes with enduring some massive hurt at the hands of people and circumstances. Before long, I justified treating myself with Diet Coke (because after all, I deserved it after all I'd been through) and before I knew it, my treat was an addiction.
Along with the return of my addiction, I began to notice some other interesting changes. You see, when I was consuming primarily water or juice beverages, my skin was clear, my stomach was flat, my migraines were significantly lessened and my aching joints and muscles weren't nearly as noticeable. My hair was healthier, I generally smelled better as a person (weird, I know) and my teeth were whiter. As I began to introduce Diet Coke back into the mix, the water and all other beverages phased out. It just didn't taste as good to me! Along with the water, all of the benefits of the water left as well. For me, the spiritual application has become painfully clear over the last few years. Yes, often times it takes years of being beat over the head before I embrace something. I may be a bit stubborn (sarcasm intended).
I drank Diet Coke because I liked it and I was thirsty. I also actually thought it was quenching my thirst. And it did in the short term. But I was always thirsty again. I'd bought into the lie AND I had received no nutritional or lasting value from the Diet Coke. The side effects of Diet Coke aren't just in what I don't gain from it, but also in what I lose in my addiction to it. Any time I sin, I'm choosing to believe a lie instead of the truth. I choose to believe that it will make me happy, cause me to feel good, not really hurt me in the long run or that no one will ever know. I exchange truth for lies. In the same way, sin tricks us into thinking we're gaining something yet we're always losing, because sin always leads to death. Maybe not our physical death initially, but there is always death of something. Innocence, trust, purity, self-control, humility.......the list is endless and full of casualties as a result of sin. For the sake of this illustration, the water of my spiritual life is the Word of God. Spiritual nourishment, lasting joy, peace amidst the storms of this life and anything else beneficial are found there. Any attempts to nourish myself spiritually in place of the water of the Word of God are false, artificial and imitation substitutes for what my soul really needs. Spiritually, my Diet Cokes are the sins that I hold so dear, cling to and dress up like something other than sin, or explain and rationalize away. I have bought into the lie that I'm somehow more satisfied with them, otherwise I'd have dropped them long ago. I've exchanged the truth for a lie.
Interestingly, in recent years Diet Coke and other diet sodas have increasingly been linked to a variety of disorders and diseases mostly in connection with the artificial or substitute sweeteners that make it calorie-free. Has this caused me to pause and think about whether or not I should drink it? Of course! In the long run, has it really changed much for me, regardless of what I know? No. I suffer the effects as well. Headaches, fatigue, aches and pains, face breakouts, unhealthy hair, stomach issues and digestive issues among others. For some reason, I cannot seem to strike a healthy balance between my dance with Diet Coke and the water my body so desperately needs. The Diet Coke wins every time. I've noticed that with my sin too. Do I know the side effects of holding my "respectable sins" so dear? Of course! Does it change anything? Not really. I also can't strike a healthy balance between my sins and the Word of God. You see, the Word of God doesn't share. If I love one, I hate the other.
Even as this analogy has been chipping away at the walls of my soul for awhile, another layer was exposed about two weeks ago. As we were in a neurologist appointment discussing my Dad's Parkinson's Disease, the doctor made an amazing point. She said that in these hot spring and summer months, it's great to drink water and that it's ultimately the best for you, but unfortunately, the heat is so intense, that the effects of the water are sapped away far more quickly than usual. The benefits of the water are not decreased, but the ability of the body to exist on them as long is. She said that it's crucial to begin supplementing with electrolyte-enhanced water whenever possible. The electrolytes in the water bond to the red blood cells in the body keeping them hydrated longer. Electrolyte drinks carry fluids directly to the bloodstream. Blood volume is raised and fluids return to healthy levels. I was amazed. I realized that I don't even have Parkinson's and had been having some of those same symptoms. It didn't help that Diet Coke was also taking center stage as my beverage of choice.
The more I've pondered, the more the illustration has become clear. Spiritually speaking, the Word of God is fully sufficient, is living and active, and in it is everything we need for life and godliness. But, in this sin-filled, daily compromising, media saturated, godless world we live in, it is a necessity to supplement the Word of God with the spiritual electrolytes of accountability, prayer, worship...both privately and corporately, theologically sound teaching, missions, solitude and other spiritual disciplines. It's not enough to get out of bed, pour a cup of coffee and read the Bible before I enter my day and think that it and reading a few well-worded spiritual tweets will last me through all that will confront me in that day. I must nourish myself with the word AND the spiritual disciplines of life. I must be in community with other believers. I must be in relational accountability with like-minded, mature believers. Oh...I also have to put sin to death in my life. Unlike drinking an occasional Diet Coke, which isn't a sin, there can be no part of me that believes "well, that sin isn't so bad...and I'm not quite ready to be done with it yet." I have to mortify, or put to death, sin in my life. For the sake of our illustration....Diet Coke can't exist as a primary beverage in a healthy world. A physically healthy person must be nourished by water and electrolytes. They are the truth. Nourishment at the hands of Diet Coke is a lie.
Respectable sins (you know, the ones you're thinking of right now...) can't exist in a world where we're spiritually healthy. They have to be put to death intentionally and often. I must be nourishing myself with the Word of God and the spiritual practices that supplement my growth in Him so beautifully.
In case you're wondering......yes, I'm trying to quit Diet Coke. It truly is a refreshing, carbonated lie. Will I be perfect? Probably not. But, you'll see me carrying around my Camelbak full of water and my Vitamin Water Zero pretty religiously. They're the truth.
My goal is also to put sin to death in my life. Will I be perfect? No. Should I still strive to do so? Yes. My amazement at His sinless sacrifice on my sinful behalf should always result in my desire to do what pleases Him. I won't be perfect. But isn't that what's so amazing about the grace of God? Always.
peace.
I've known about this addiction issue for quite some time, but this is the first time that I've been comfortable enough to admit my addiction. After all, the truth sets you free, right?
Interestingly, my addiction began as repulsion. You see, I was addicted to Coca Cola Classic before I made the switch to Diet Coke. That addiction was much the same. Loved it over every other drink option and drank it readily and often. Shortly after Jeffrey and I got married, our shared love of Coke resulted in our shared newlywed weight gain. Add the birth of Maggie and preceding pregnancy and sympathy pounds to our mix, and we were two plump, carbonated parents! We decided that something had to change. Mind you, we were not prepared to address our love of carbs of all shapes and sizes, nor our propensity for fast food due to our hectic travel-heavy lifestyles, but we zeroed in on the one thing we thought we could do. Switch from Coke to Diet Coke. You see, one 12 ounce can of Coca Cola Classic has 39 grams of sugar and 140 calories!! Multiply that times the several we drank each day, not to mention the larger quantities that come as a result of the drive-thru window and their drink sizing.......and we were probably consuming in Coca Cola what should have been our entire caloric intake for the day! So.......we decided to make the switch. After all, the nutrition facts on the back of the Diet Coke can reveal a long line of (0). No fat, no carbs, no protein and best of all......NO CALORIES! So, our choice was made. The first taste of Diet Coke was nothing short of revolting to us. Where oh where was the sweet, syrupy goodness we'd grown up loving? This was a fraud! A sham! A shameful copycat of a finer soda beverage. Jeffrey was done. He'd had enough. If he couldn't drink Coke, he'd just switch to water. He wasn't putting that Diet Coke filth in his mouth again.....and he hasn't since. I made the switch though. It was a gross, saliva-repulsing process, but I finally hooked myself on the substitute. Oh, and we lost over 25 pounds collectively by changing nothing else but our choice of soda.
Fast-forward 9 years. Now, the taste of Coca Cola is repulsive to me. It tastes like drinking maple syrup. Jeffrey still doesn't consume soda and I'm still hooked to Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper. I mean, it's true what they say......"Diet Dr. Pepper really does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper." This addiction hasn't come without a reprieve here and there though. A couple of years ago, I got on a SUPER healthy kick, switched our family to organic foods, cut out carbonated beverages......PERIOD, began exercising P-90X style, lost 30 pounds, easily wore those designer jeans mentioned in the previous post and was militant about foods, cosmetics, calorie contents, empty calories, whole foods, green living, natural instead of processed and all that goes with it. I loved it! I was healthy, my family was healthy, we felt good and life was good. Then, along with job changes and life changes, our income didn't support the expense that comes along with that lifestyle and my emotions didn't support the expense that comes with enduring some massive hurt at the hands of people and circumstances. Before long, I justified treating myself with Diet Coke (because after all, I deserved it after all I'd been through) and before I knew it, my treat was an addiction.
Along with the return of my addiction, I began to notice some other interesting changes. You see, when I was consuming primarily water or juice beverages, my skin was clear, my stomach was flat, my migraines were significantly lessened and my aching joints and muscles weren't nearly as noticeable. My hair was healthier, I generally smelled better as a person (weird, I know) and my teeth were whiter. As I began to introduce Diet Coke back into the mix, the water and all other beverages phased out. It just didn't taste as good to me! Along with the water, all of the benefits of the water left as well. For me, the spiritual application has become painfully clear over the last few years. Yes, often times it takes years of being beat over the head before I embrace something. I may be a bit stubborn (sarcasm intended).
I drank Diet Coke because I liked it and I was thirsty. I also actually thought it was quenching my thirst. And it did in the short term. But I was always thirsty again. I'd bought into the lie AND I had received no nutritional or lasting value from the Diet Coke. The side effects of Diet Coke aren't just in what I don't gain from it, but also in what I lose in my addiction to it. Any time I sin, I'm choosing to believe a lie instead of the truth. I choose to believe that it will make me happy, cause me to feel good, not really hurt me in the long run or that no one will ever know. I exchange truth for lies. In the same way, sin tricks us into thinking we're gaining something yet we're always losing, because sin always leads to death. Maybe not our physical death initially, but there is always death of something. Innocence, trust, purity, self-control, humility.......the list is endless and full of casualties as a result of sin. For the sake of this illustration, the water of my spiritual life is the Word of God. Spiritual nourishment, lasting joy, peace amidst the storms of this life and anything else beneficial are found there. Any attempts to nourish myself spiritually in place of the water of the Word of God are false, artificial and imitation substitutes for what my soul really needs. Spiritually, my Diet Cokes are the sins that I hold so dear, cling to and dress up like something other than sin, or explain and rationalize away. I have bought into the lie that I'm somehow more satisfied with them, otherwise I'd have dropped them long ago. I've exchanged the truth for a lie.
Interestingly, in recent years Diet Coke and other diet sodas have increasingly been linked to a variety of disorders and diseases mostly in connection with the artificial or substitute sweeteners that make it calorie-free. Has this caused me to pause and think about whether or not I should drink it? Of course! In the long run, has it really changed much for me, regardless of what I know? No. I suffer the effects as well. Headaches, fatigue, aches and pains, face breakouts, unhealthy hair, stomach issues and digestive issues among others. For some reason, I cannot seem to strike a healthy balance between my dance with Diet Coke and the water my body so desperately needs. The Diet Coke wins every time. I've noticed that with my sin too. Do I know the side effects of holding my "respectable sins" so dear? Of course! Does it change anything? Not really. I also can't strike a healthy balance between my sins and the Word of God. You see, the Word of God doesn't share. If I love one, I hate the other.
Even as this analogy has been chipping away at the walls of my soul for awhile, another layer was exposed about two weeks ago. As we were in a neurologist appointment discussing my Dad's Parkinson's Disease, the doctor made an amazing point. She said that in these hot spring and summer months, it's great to drink water and that it's ultimately the best for you, but unfortunately, the heat is so intense, that the effects of the water are sapped away far more quickly than usual. The benefits of the water are not decreased, but the ability of the body to exist on them as long is. She said that it's crucial to begin supplementing with electrolyte-enhanced water whenever possible. The electrolytes in the water bond to the red blood cells in the body keeping them hydrated longer. Electrolyte drinks carry fluids directly to the bloodstream. Blood volume is raised and fluids return to healthy levels. I was amazed. I realized that I don't even have Parkinson's and had been having some of those same symptoms. It didn't help that Diet Coke was also taking center stage as my beverage of choice.
The more I've pondered, the more the illustration has become clear. Spiritually speaking, the Word of God is fully sufficient, is living and active, and in it is everything we need for life and godliness. But, in this sin-filled, daily compromising, media saturated, godless world we live in, it is a necessity to supplement the Word of God with the spiritual electrolytes of accountability, prayer, worship...both privately and corporately, theologically sound teaching, missions, solitude and other spiritual disciplines. It's not enough to get out of bed, pour a cup of coffee and read the Bible before I enter my day and think that it and reading a few well-worded spiritual tweets will last me through all that will confront me in that day. I must nourish myself with the word AND the spiritual disciplines of life. I must be in community with other believers. I must be in relational accountability with like-minded, mature believers. Oh...I also have to put sin to death in my life. Unlike drinking an occasional Diet Coke, which isn't a sin, there can be no part of me that believes "well, that sin isn't so bad...and I'm not quite ready to be done with it yet." I have to mortify, or put to death, sin in my life. For the sake of our illustration....Diet Coke can't exist as a primary beverage in a healthy world. A physically healthy person must be nourished by water and electrolytes. They are the truth. Nourishment at the hands of Diet Coke is a lie.
Respectable sins (you know, the ones you're thinking of right now...) can't exist in a world where we're spiritually healthy. They have to be put to death intentionally and often. I must be nourishing myself with the Word of God and the spiritual practices that supplement my growth in Him so beautifully.
In case you're wondering......yes, I'm trying to quit Diet Coke. It truly is a refreshing, carbonated lie. Will I be perfect? Probably not. But, you'll see me carrying around my Camelbak full of water and my Vitamin Water Zero pretty religiously. They're the truth.
My goal is also to put sin to death in my life. Will I be perfect? No. Should I still strive to do so? Yes. My amazement at His sinless sacrifice on my sinful behalf should always result in my desire to do what pleases Him. I won't be perfect. But isn't that what's so amazing about the grace of God? Always.
peace.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
jeaneology...
Citizens of Humanity, 7 For All Mankind, True Religion.........
Designer jeans. I. Love. Them. Once upon a time, I was a regular Old Navy or Gap jeans kind of girl and I was perfectly content. I didn't even know that I wasn't fulfilled in my experience of jeans. Then one day my sister-in-law introduced me to my first pair of designer jeans. I remember it like it was yesterday. I put them on, and I felt.......AMAZING. I hadn't known prior to that moment that I could be THAT happy in a pair of jeans. I hadn't known that my life was missing anything.....but it was......oh, it was.
It's been 6 years and two children since that pivotal moment and for the first time other than pregnancy I'm without my designer jeans. Oh, they're still in my closet, but our connection is gone. It has been for about 6 months now. Why, you may ask? Well, I'd love to tell you that it's because I've sold them all and given the money to charity, or that I've since realized that I don't need designer jeans when regular old Jordache will do. But, I'd be lying. The real reason lies in the number 22. Twenty-two. The big TWO TWO. That number represents the amount of pounds that I've gained since Christmas. Twenty. Two. Pounds. I discovered this tonight. I had a sneaking suspicion it was close to that, but tonight I stepped onto the dreaded scale. Sadly, those pounds won't fit into my designer jeans any more than a Delta jet can fit into a ziplock bag. It's absolutely impossible. The sad part is.......it was all preventable.
Now, before you start judging me (more than you already are for the fact that I didn't sell them and donate the money to charity.....) let me assure you that I did not pay full price for any of my jeans. In fact, several of them were free. Having a relative that works in a high end department store has its perks. So does being smaller than someone else who gained weight and can no longer fit into their designer jeans. It's funny, but as much as I can't live without my designer jeans, I also refuse to pay full price for any of them. Double standard? Probably.
I told a friend of mine that I was certain I'd gained at least 20 pounds since moving to Atlanta from California and she said. "Absolutely not. There's no way. You can't tell at all." That actually kept me going for awhile! "People can't tell I've gained weight. Sweet! I have always been able to dress to accentuate the positive and downplay the negative. I'm doing good!" The problem is...I only LOOKED like I hadn't gained 20 pounds. That didn't change reality. I have gained 20 pounds whether I look like it or not. And believe you me, without all of my strategically placed clothes, I most definitely look like it.
Here's the thing. I didn't gain 22 pounds overnight. I also didn't suddenly wake up and realize that I was gaining weight. I didn't try to gain weight. I gained weight because I made no effort to stop it. I ate what everyone routinely eats, I paid less for groceries rather than more. I was lazy, I compromised, I was indulgent, I took the easy way out, I caved........and now I'm paying. Let's be clear. Gaining weight is what naturally happens to a vast percentage of the population if there is no attempt made to stop it. Staying thin (and healthy) actually takes work. Fighting is required.
About the same time that I felt myself getting dissatisfied with my temporary Target jeans and my expanding waistline, the Holy Spirit started pressing in on me in a very familiar way. See......I've been really digging into this idea of holiness for about 5 years. I've been studying, digesting and wrestling with all of the implications of scripture's exhortations to us as believers. We are commanded in no uncertain terms to BE holy. Everything about the pursuit of holiness requires active and in many cases aggressive steps on our part. We are naturally prone to getting really fat on the pleasures of this world. Because of our ongoing battle against sin and our flesh, we are not naturally holy. We begin to be worldly because we make no effort to stop it. We watch or listen to what everyone routinely watches and listens to, and have less convictions rather than more. We grow lazy, we compromise, we're indulgent, we take the easy way out, we cave, we abuse grace........and we pay. The chance for holiness for me required a priceless sacrifice on Jesus' part. It wasn't free like my designer jeans. But glory to God.........with diligence, the indwelling power of the Spirit and the glorious grace offered to me, I CAN BE HOLY. I don't have to just LOOK holy, I can actually BE holy.
Unfortunately, much like my weight, I think I've learned how to dress to hide my unholiness. After all, I am practically a professional christian. I work in ministry, I work at a CHURCH for crying out loud. I lead worship, I lead children, I'm a pastor's kid, I married a worship leader, I can quote scripture, I've never been drunk, I own multiple Bibles, I have favorite sermons, favorite worship songs, eat Chick-fil-A and only use Apple products. For all intents and purposes, I look like a holy person. But, lately, God's been convicting me that looks are very deceiving. If I'm not careful, I'm tempted to hide behind the fact that everyone thinks I've got this holiness bit together. It's then that I realize that He always sees me without my holiness clothes on and knows just how fat I've gotten on what this world has to offer. I don't have to work very hard to be comfortable in this world. I don't even have to work very hard to be assumed as holy around other believers. Jerry Bridges calls this "cultural holiness." He says:
"Many Christians have what we might call a "cultural holiness". They adapt to the character and behavior pattern of Christians around them. As the Christian culture around them is more or less holy, so these Christians are more or less holy. But God has not called us to be like those around us. He has called us to be like himself. Holiness is nothing less than conformity to the character of God."
THAT is what I want. I don't want to just be like the other Christians around me. That's becoming more and more scary by the day. We've validated the phrase "what one generation tolerates, the next embraces." I want to know what it means to put sin to death in my life, to appropriate the grace of God to the situations I face each day, to love others as He did, to esteem others as better than myself, to deny myself the things that erode my spiritual health and to take up my cross daily. You can't fake that stuff. There are a few people in my life who are pursuing this full force and it's a beautiful thing to watch.
I'm not satisfied with these 22 pounds. They have to go. Not just because I want to get back into my jeans.......but because I want to be healthy. I'm not satisfied with my cultural holiness either. It has to go. Not just because I want to look like I've got it together to those around me........but because I want to be holy.
I'm so thankful to God for the ladies around me who've committed to this journey also and meet weekly to encourage one another and exhort each other. I have no delusions regarding how easy this will be.......I know it won't be. And since it will not be completed on this side of eternity, I already know the value of having encouragers and exhorters who are in it for the long haul. But......blessing follows obedience and obedience requires heeding the promptings of the Spirit in my life. So.....I continue on the journey. Hope to see you along the way. Maybe when we do see one another, I'll be back in those beloved jeans.
"The moment we make up our minds that we are going on with this determination to exalt God over all we step out of the world's parade. We shall find ourselves out of adjustment to the ways of the world, and increasingly so as we make progress in the holy way." A.W. Tozer
peace.
Designer jeans. I. Love. Them. Once upon a time, I was a regular Old Navy or Gap jeans kind of girl and I was perfectly content. I didn't even know that I wasn't fulfilled in my experience of jeans. Then one day my sister-in-law introduced me to my first pair of designer jeans. I remember it like it was yesterday. I put them on, and I felt.......AMAZING. I hadn't known prior to that moment that I could be THAT happy in a pair of jeans. I hadn't known that my life was missing anything.....but it was......oh, it was.
It's been 6 years and two children since that pivotal moment and for the first time other than pregnancy I'm without my designer jeans. Oh, they're still in my closet, but our connection is gone. It has been for about 6 months now. Why, you may ask? Well, I'd love to tell you that it's because I've sold them all and given the money to charity, or that I've since realized that I don't need designer jeans when regular old Jordache will do. But, I'd be lying. The real reason lies in the number 22. Twenty-two. The big TWO TWO. That number represents the amount of pounds that I've gained since Christmas. Twenty. Two. Pounds. I discovered this tonight. I had a sneaking suspicion it was close to that, but tonight I stepped onto the dreaded scale. Sadly, those pounds won't fit into my designer jeans any more than a Delta jet can fit into a ziplock bag. It's absolutely impossible. The sad part is.......it was all preventable.
Now, before you start judging me (more than you already are for the fact that I didn't sell them and donate the money to charity.....) let me assure you that I did not pay full price for any of my jeans. In fact, several of them were free. Having a relative that works in a high end department store has its perks. So does being smaller than someone else who gained weight and can no longer fit into their designer jeans. It's funny, but as much as I can't live without my designer jeans, I also refuse to pay full price for any of them. Double standard? Probably.
I told a friend of mine that I was certain I'd gained at least 20 pounds since moving to Atlanta from California and she said. "Absolutely not. There's no way. You can't tell at all." That actually kept me going for awhile! "People can't tell I've gained weight. Sweet! I have always been able to dress to accentuate the positive and downplay the negative. I'm doing good!" The problem is...I only LOOKED like I hadn't gained 20 pounds. That didn't change reality. I have gained 20 pounds whether I look like it or not. And believe you me, without all of my strategically placed clothes, I most definitely look like it.
Here's the thing. I didn't gain 22 pounds overnight. I also didn't suddenly wake up and realize that I was gaining weight. I didn't try to gain weight. I gained weight because I made no effort to stop it. I ate what everyone routinely eats, I paid less for groceries rather than more. I was lazy, I compromised, I was indulgent, I took the easy way out, I caved........and now I'm paying. Let's be clear. Gaining weight is what naturally happens to a vast percentage of the population if there is no attempt made to stop it. Staying thin (and healthy) actually takes work. Fighting is required.
About the same time that I felt myself getting dissatisfied with my temporary Target jeans and my expanding waistline, the Holy Spirit started pressing in on me in a very familiar way. See......I've been really digging into this idea of holiness for about 5 years. I've been studying, digesting and wrestling with all of the implications of scripture's exhortations to us as believers. We are commanded in no uncertain terms to BE holy. Everything about the pursuit of holiness requires active and in many cases aggressive steps on our part. We are naturally prone to getting really fat on the pleasures of this world. Because of our ongoing battle against sin and our flesh, we are not naturally holy. We begin to be worldly because we make no effort to stop it. We watch or listen to what everyone routinely watches and listens to, and have less convictions rather than more. We grow lazy, we compromise, we're indulgent, we take the easy way out, we cave, we abuse grace........and we pay. The chance for holiness for me required a priceless sacrifice on Jesus' part. It wasn't free like my designer jeans. But glory to God.........with diligence, the indwelling power of the Spirit and the glorious grace offered to me, I CAN BE HOLY. I don't have to just LOOK holy, I can actually BE holy.
Unfortunately, much like my weight, I think I've learned how to dress to hide my unholiness. After all, I am practically a professional christian. I work in ministry, I work at a CHURCH for crying out loud. I lead worship, I lead children, I'm a pastor's kid, I married a worship leader, I can quote scripture, I've never been drunk, I own multiple Bibles, I have favorite sermons, favorite worship songs, eat Chick-fil-A and only use Apple products. For all intents and purposes, I look like a holy person. But, lately, God's been convicting me that looks are very deceiving. If I'm not careful, I'm tempted to hide behind the fact that everyone thinks I've got this holiness bit together. It's then that I realize that He always sees me without my holiness clothes on and knows just how fat I've gotten on what this world has to offer. I don't have to work very hard to be comfortable in this world. I don't even have to work very hard to be assumed as holy around other believers. Jerry Bridges calls this "cultural holiness." He says:
"Many Christians have what we might call a "cultural holiness". They adapt to the character and behavior pattern of Christians around them. As the Christian culture around them is more or less holy, so these Christians are more or less holy. But God has not called us to be like those around us. He has called us to be like himself. Holiness is nothing less than conformity to the character of God."
THAT is what I want. I don't want to just be like the other Christians around me. That's becoming more and more scary by the day. We've validated the phrase "what one generation tolerates, the next embraces." I want to know what it means to put sin to death in my life, to appropriate the grace of God to the situations I face each day, to love others as He did, to esteem others as better than myself, to deny myself the things that erode my spiritual health and to take up my cross daily. You can't fake that stuff. There are a few people in my life who are pursuing this full force and it's a beautiful thing to watch.
I'm not satisfied with these 22 pounds. They have to go. Not just because I want to get back into my jeans.......but because I want to be healthy. I'm not satisfied with my cultural holiness either. It has to go. Not just because I want to look like I've got it together to those around me........but because I want to be holy.
I'm so thankful to God for the ladies around me who've committed to this journey also and meet weekly to encourage one another and exhort each other. I have no delusions regarding how easy this will be.......I know it won't be. And since it will not be completed on this side of eternity, I already know the value of having encouragers and exhorters who are in it for the long haul. But......blessing follows obedience and obedience requires heeding the promptings of the Spirit in my life. So.....I continue on the journey. Hope to see you along the way. Maybe when we do see one another, I'll be back in those beloved jeans.
"The moment we make up our minds that we are going on with this determination to exalt God over all we step out of the world's parade. We shall find ourselves out of adjustment to the ways of the world, and increasingly so as we make progress in the holy way." A.W. Tozer
peace.
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