braves gone wild...

I had the opportunity to go to my first Braves postseason game last night. And subsequently had the opportunity to see the human condition on display. I've been processing what I experienced since last night and had to find words for it when Maggie, my 10 year old asked me for a play-by-play of what had occurred.

Yesterday began as any other day. Coffee, some time with God, cleaning up the house, doing dishes, straightening and getting everything "just so" in order to soothe my soul. (Cleaning soothes me. It just does.) Then, about 11am, preparation began. You see, I'd waited as long as humanly possible to get completely GIDDY about what I knew awaited me. My first. postseason. Braves. game. I need to let you know right up front that I've been a Braves fan since I was old enough to toddle into my mom's room, climb up on her bed and watch baseball 'til time for bed. I was a Braves fan who got beer spilled on me EVERY single time I went to a game at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. In those days, the games weren't hard to get tickets to because the teams were terrible. Also, the design of the stands made it very possible for someone to set their beer down on the row behind you, accidentally kick it, and thus send it streaming down the back of your shirt. It was a lovely experience. But it was baseball. I grew to love it then and I still love it now. There's a caveat though. I love BRAVES baseball. I probably won't watch the World Series this year because I'm loyal to my team, and when my team's out, I don't care anymore. I still love baseball, but I just don't feel any emotional connectivity to it when my boys are gone.

So...heading to the first postseason game of my life, Chipper's farewell season...I was unhinged with excitement, but I was containing it pretty well. I got out the t-shirts, set out my tomahawk earrings, gathered things for the children who were going to my parents house, we planned our Marta route, I asked Jeffrey twenty two thousand times if he had the e-tickets for paperless entry to the ballpark and then we were off. We dropped off the kids, got to Marta and began riding. My leg was pumping (if you don't know me, that's my stress-release mechanism...I pump my leg), so we were riding and I was intermittently clapping with glee. Jeffrey would just look at me and smile. He cares nothing about sports, by the way. In fact, as we were walking from Marta to the Braves shuttle, someone said to him "Hey! Who are the Braves playing tonight?" He just looked over at me blankly. I said "Cardinals." Now, THAT'S spousal support. He cares nothing about it and doesn't even know who's playing. He just knows it is making. my. life. at this moment.  Marta and the Braves shuttle were a breeze (get it? because you get a Breeze card to ride...) and before we knew it, we were at Turner Field.

They were giving away 45,000 tomahawks at the gate, so we got our foam props and headed to our seats. We were way up high in the 400's and once we got to our seats, I was so glad. The view was really magnificent. We could see everything and I couldn't wait to get things started. The atmosphere was electric in every way. People who didn't know one another were all united in a common bond. GO. BRAVES. This was it. This was finally the season we'd go all the way again. It was Chipper's swan song. You could feel the anticipation...it hung thick all over the stadium. The starting lineups were announced and every single manager, coach, player, trainer and assistant was named and came out to line up on down the first base line. Fans were anticipating the big moment and then it was upon us... "playing 3rd base, number 10, CHIPPER JONES!!!!" We lost our collective minds. This was the postseason! The bunting hung all around the ballpark and matched perfectly the huge American flag that was unfurled in the outfield. Every hat was off, every heart had a hand on it and Travis Tritt, country singer and Atlanta native (of "here's a quarter, call someone who cares..." fame) began the National Anthem. We all sang, we were all appropriately reverent and as the second to last cliffhanger line rang out... "o'er the land of the FREEEEEEEEE"... the cheers erupted and we all finished together..."and the HOME of the BRAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEEE." That, my friends, is unity.

Now it's time for the game. Kris Medlen came out and blew through the first inning, striking out the side. I've never seen 50,000 people so in sync with one little white ball. Then, came Ross's homer. We knew it. We were going to win. Unfortunately, the game progressed and so did the errors for the Braves, the men left on base and the frustration in the stands. But...it's baseball. It ain't over 'til it's over. During the game we honored one of our country's servicemen and even in the midst of the frustrating score, we were on our feet cheering and expressing our gratitude for this man and all of our men and women in uniform. Then, Timothy Miller soared on God Bless America and once again, we were united. At some point during the game, two Cardinals fans came and sat next to me and even they were kind, appropriately appreciative of Chipper and not remotely obnoxious. It's just a friendly game of baseball after all. I leaned over to Jeffrey at the end of the top of the 8th inning and said "I'm believing for big things in the bottom of the 8th and 9th innings." Truer words were never spoken.

As we all know by now, the wheels completely came off in the bottom of the 8th. The most horrible call in the history of baseball was made, momentum shifted and most of all, some fans completely lost it. As it was unfolding, it was truly surreal. Of the 50,000 of us that were there, maybe 1,000 were throwing things on the field. Maybe not even that many. But, today, the embarrassment is over "Atlanta's fans." To be fair, the feeling that accompanied the actions was completely understandable. It was a hugely ridiculous late and improper call. But, in that moment...in the extremes between the total elation of a one out bases loaded scoring opportunity that could tie the game and the utter despair of a two-out ridiculous call literally out of left field, everyone's metaphorical cup got jostled. And, when our cups get jostled, what's in them spills out.

Interestingly, the unity from prior innings began to fray. And, as those 19 minutes of delay passed, there was division even among the Braves faithful. There were fans throwing beer bottles and actually hitting umpires with them. They were leading the charge of disruption and rebellion over what was an agreeably unjust ruling. There were other fans, half drunk, who were always going to follow the crowd, no matter what the crowd did...so they were throwing their trash on the field as well. Behind them, there were those who, though agreeing with the horribleness of the call, were even more angry at those throwing trash...so they began to swear and taunt and fight with those who were throwing trash. Then there were the eternal optimists who tried unsuccessfully to start chants of "Let's Go Braves!" to try and swing the momentum back in a positive direction. They were drowned out by the boos of their fellow fans before they could even gain strength. Then, there were the rest of us. We were pretty much dumbfounded by what was occurring and since we didn't have the benefit of radio and tv, an understanding of how things were shaking out was slow to unfold. Parents around me were growing increasingly concerned about their young children being exposed to this much language and mob mentality. I saw several of the parents in our section picking up and holding their children, talking to them, covering their ears and some electing to leave all together. What a sad end to a childhood postseason baseball memory.

The most astonishing (and ultimately convicting) part for me was that in the name of support of our team, fans were throwing trash and beer bottles all over our field, in our stadium, leaving our grounds crew to scurry around picking up every single bit of it. Just as they'd get an area cleared, more bottles would rain down from our people and again, our grounds crew would bear the burden of getting it cleaned up. As an announcement was made by "the voice" that continued behavior of this kind would result in our team having to forfeit the game, a chorus of boos drowned out his voice and more bottles rained down. Understandably assuming that maybe a face-to-face communication was warranted, our familiar Turner Field emcee came on to let fans know that while we are the most passionate fans anywhere, the way we were showing it was inappropriate. He attempted to spin the situation positively by encouraging us to use our voices and not throw trash. This resulted in boos...and more trash.

Remember, we all came into that game united. We all believed in the same thing and we were all pulling for it and united behind it. There hadn't been any outside forces introduced, like umpires, to cause our cups to get jostled. At that moment, no one knew what was really IN everyone's cup, we just knew that for the most part, all of our cups were Braves cups. It wasn't until the outside force of umpires was introduced and we were taken to the two extremes of emotion in a matter of seconds that the cups began to run over. Then, in no time, the real issue had been long forgotten in the chaos of turning on one another as we disagreed about how to disagree, making our own people clean up our mess and putting the entire game in jeopardy by our behavior. Through it all, the Cardinals fans beside me were quietly watching us self-destruct. Then, the game went on to its inevitable conclusion clouding the last moments of an otherwise storied Chipper Jones career by controversy and chaos.

Though I was completely shocked last night as I watched it all unfold, it's not an unfamiliar scene. As believers, we do exactly the same thing pretty quickly. We all unite together behind Christ, we attend conferences and churches and camps and conventions, we gather to link arms behind this cause or that because we truly believe in it and, when united, amazing things are accomplished by God for His kingdom and many are drawn to Jesus through the evidence of Him that they see in our lives. But, introduce one outside force (elections? fast food controversies, anyone?) and it's not long before we turn on one another and segregate into our various denominations and belief systems...excluding, judging and taunting anyone who isn't behind the particular line we've drawn. When we get jostled, what's in our cup spills out.

It happens personally too. As I watched the pandemonium unfold last night I was really glad that I wasn't one of those people with a short fuse and no control of my actions. Well, I mean, I wasn't one of those people last night. But, I was earlier that day when I got an email and immediately texted the guy who sent it to me with an incredulous "what in the world are they thinking with this???" comment. I am that person when something happens and I immediately get amped up and emotional before I take time to take a deep breath and consider a more appropriate response. I am one of those people because I have to be better about taking stock of what's in my cup...in my heart. Because the overflow of my heart is on display every time I open my mouth or respond with my actions.

“You don’t get wormy apples off a healthy tree, nor good apples off a diseased tree. The health of the apple tells the health of the tree. You must begin with your own life-giving lives. It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds." Luke 6:43-45 (The Message)

The worst part about having sinful actions, emotions and words spill out of my cup? It's not just my reputation that's on the line. I weaken my own witness to be sure, but I also endanger the reputation of everyone that claims to be on my "team" and since I'm on Christ's team...I endanger His reputation with those who are watching. And, much like the Cardinals fans beside me yesterday, others may not have to wait very long to watch us self-destruct. I'm really aware today of what's in my cup. I'm aware of things that have been buried in my cup for awhile and that I've forgotten are there (until the cup gets jostled, that is)... I want my heart to be rid of things that will damage the holiness path I'm on. I also don't want people to have reason to disbelieve my commitment.

So, yes, I went to a game and had an experience I'll remember for a lifetime. But I'm also grateful for the wake-up call that being witness to last night's debacle afforded me and consequently, our kids. Today, as things have come against the kids, we've been able to ask the question: "What's spilling out of your cup right now?" They are allowed to ask us as well. Praying that the Holy Spirit keeps this front and center for me. And, if you know me, you're allowed to ask me...

"What's in your cup?"

for the moms out there... (and the dads if you dare...)

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a running list of things a country mile long AND wide that I'll be doing "in my spare time." Well, due to the amazing vision and leadership of my pastor and the loving sovereignty of God, I happen to find myself with some time coming up...

One of the things that Louie said in his charge to us as a staff team was "during this sabbath, find some time for the things that make you come alive." Well, that statement in and of itself lit a little flame that's been dancing since the moment he said it. Here's hoping there is a raging blaze going on in this heart before long...

One of the things during this break that I really wanted to devote some time to was perusing a blog that I was made aware of by a friend here in Atlanta. It's called Lil Light O' Mine and it's a veritable treasure-store of amazing resources for us moms. Of course, it's bent toward moms as this is the passion of Courtney's life, but you domesticated dads would benefit as well!

I'll highlight a few things here that you really need to do yourself a favor and check out. Jeffrey and I are planning to implement all of what I'm recommending to you and I always love to share great little ideas I've found. And, best of all...it helps shine a light on what Lil Light O' Mine is doing and I love that too...

Some of you may say "uh...you're a little late to the party...we've been loving this stuff for years..." But that's ok. I feel certain there are some others besides me who are just now finding our spare time.

Things I love...

ABC Scripture Cards :: These are great tools for memorizing God's Word with your kids. They are well-designed and are easily displayed on the included tabletop easel or attached to the fridge with the included magnets. (For you PCC people, these are now being sold in our Resources store on Sundays!) Is there really ANYTHING better our kids can do for their hearts than hide God's Word in it? Scripture Cards available here

Conversations for Lil Ones :: Do you ever lack for deep, meaningful conversations with your kids? Or, do you find that mealtimes and car rides have blown by in a haze of directives, argument mediation and endurance until it's over? I love these ideas for conversation starters both meaningful and fun. Try them! Just click through and click the link and they'll download right to your computer. Conversations with Lil Ones available here

Mom, Will You Just Play With Me?! :: How. often. have. you. heard. this??? Well, here you'll find a printable guide with ideas to get you thinking creatively about engaging with your kids. Don't even attempt to be "that guy" right here and say, "you're the parent, you should be able to figure out how to play with your kids." Clearly, that guy (or girl) has never been inside a house (or any other structure) with a child (or multiple children!) all day. Even the most creative of us run out of ideas eventually. Enjoy these to get those creative juices flowing again: Mom, Will You Just Play With Me? available here

and lastly...

The Clean Slate Club Plan :: I am literally surrounded by mission and vision every day. I've had the benefit of being around world-class visionary leaders for most of my life. There is no shortage of vision in my work life. The place that I tend to feel the biggest lack of vision? Home life. Personal life. Not because we're not committed to a home that glorifies God, is in order, is able to breathe deeply, isn't overcome by stress and isn't succumbing to tyranny of the urgent...but because we just haven't made the effort to write it down, involve our kids and take the steps necessary to achieve it. (Probably because those steps will involve saying NO to things a lot more often than we're saying YES. Just being honest.) This is why I'm pumped about this plan. It literally walks you through the questions and steps associated with implementing the proper, healthy things into your family. Best of all? It's completely customizable. For instance...this probably should have happened in January, but all of my new years are taken up with a teeny little amazing thing called Passion Conferences. So...my particular "new year" is starting the second week of August. No biggie. At least it's starting. Start yours now too if you haven't already. Clean Slate Club Plan available here

Well, I'm off to start implementing...hope you'll do the same. Everything mentioned here is something that points us to an easy and often completely over-used and under-valued scripture that every parent should literally be clinging to.

Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." (NKJV)

"Direct your children onto the right path and when they are older they will not leave it." (NLT)

sabbath musings...

i originally sent this to the bloom and passion kids door holders, because they are the ones i was praying for... but then, i realized that it's really for all of us...

so pcc family...i give you 'sabbath musings.'

If there is any group of people anywhere that deserves a sabbath rest, it's YOU. As I was pondering the upcoming break, I looked up the actual definition of REST: "Cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength."

There are several things I love about that definition. First…

CEASE. "come to an end…"

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

WORK or MOVEMENT. "activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result…"

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"...Be still, for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve." Nehemiah 8:11

"Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong." Job 6:24

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…" Psalm 37:7

"Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling." Zechariah 2:13

RELAX, REFRESH ONESELF, RECOVER STRENGTH. "rest or engage in an enjoyable activity so as to become less tired or anxious…"

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:1-3

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." Psalm 51:12

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

**********

For many of you, this Sabbath rest doesn't actually mean a physical break from anything but Sunday responsibilities. You've still got a job, a family and people counting on you. For some of us, it's a break from our daily jobs as well. But, for all of us, it's a chance to lean in and ask God what he'd have us to CEASE. What work or movement of hands OR of mind is He leading you to be STILL over instead? What do you need to have refreshed or renewed in your life?

This sabbath rest is not merely a rest of your body, but I pray that it will be a rest of your mind, your heart, your soul…all that makes you YOU. If at all possible, enter into an attitude of rest EACH day, not only on Sunday. The Holy Spirit will be faithful to reveal what we need to be resting from if we will ask Him. Whether it's the striving we're so prone to in relationships and occupations or the constant whirlwind of mental torture over unknowns or fears…whether it's the renewal of the joy of our salvation or our physical or emotional strength, HE is the provider and sustainer of it all. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He has been so faithful and generous to us. We'll do well to be in remembrance of all He's done and to thank Him from hearts overflowing with gratitude.

It's my prayer that you'll find yourself unburdened and in constant and close communication with your heavenly Father during this time. I pray that you will indeed return relaxed, refreshed and recovered, but I also pray that on the journey, you'll find depth and wholeness at the feet of the only One who is the lasting source of both.

BE. LOVED.

believe it or not...

I had a conversation with my 7 year old son, Jack, last Wednesday night that has completely changed things for me. It was a normal day, we were doing normal homework after my normal day at work and his normal day at school. Everything was pretty...well, normal. He was doing an activity where he had to share 9 things that described him for the "All About Me" book that his class contributes to. We'd already talked about our family, the dogs, his love of Moshi Monsters and Legos...his favorite animals (sharks and cheetahs) and so forth. The rest of the conversation went something like this...

"Jack, do you want to say something about Jesus, or Passion City Church? That's a big part of you."

"Nah, not really."

"Oh really? Why not?"

"Well, mom...most of the kids in my class aren't christians."

"Well, what does it mean to be a christian?"

"It means that you believe in Jesus."

"Like, you believe He existed?"

"No mom...like that He died on the cross and rose again for our sins."

"Oh, that's right! Jack do you believe that?"

"Nah, not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I can believe that Jesus died because people die all the time. But, I just can't believe that He rose again, because people don't do that."

"Well, doesn't it make it pretty cool then, that Jesus DID rise from the dead? It's important to know what you believe about it."

"Mom...I'm going to live a long time. I have plenty of time to decide. Okay, in this square, I want to put a picture of art stuff, because I like art."

Suddenly, in that little exchange, my very normal day became very abnormal and very heavy. Jack had no angst, no confusion and no emotion. He had given it a good bit of thought and just didn't believe that Jesus rose from the dead. And he was fine with it.

I, on the other hand, was not fine. A few minutes later, I shook it off as best I could, got in my car and headed to small group. One of the girls in my small group had just had the most precious little baby girl and we were all getting to hold her and love on her for the first time. I, having a background in theater, performed "Girl Who Has Nothing Wrong With Her and Isn't Freaking Out" beautifully that night. Then, I got in the car and cried all the way home. At this point, pretty convincingly, came the voice of an accuser in my ear. Sometimes whispering, sometimes shouting over the next day or so and the accusations sounded a little (exactly) like this...

"Are you KIDDING me? You're a CHILDREN'S MINISTRY DIRECTOR and your own child doesn't even believe?"

"What are you doing investing in other people's children when you can't even seem to get your own child on board?"

"This is what you get for not homeschooling them and taking care of their education yourself. Instead, you're working in ministry focusing on everyone else's kids. Good job, mom."

There were more, but I'm getting a little discouraged again even typing them out, so we'll just leave it there. The next night, Jack asked if he could read a story outloud to Ali, our 5 year old. I said yes and we headed up to his room. He picked a children's book by Francis Chan named "Halfway Herbert." (I must pause right now and encourage all of you to get his children's books. They are full of truth in a very engaging way for kids.) Anyway...the gist of "Halfway Herbert" is that Herbert can't love Jesus with his whole heart unless the Holy Spirit comes and lives in him and helps him.

You can imagine that during the entire time that Jack is reading to Ali, I am praying for understanding and clarity for Jack. I am begging that he will get it. Then, when the story is done, he says:

"Mommy, do you think we could talk about me asking the Holy Spirit to come and help me love Jesus with my whole heart?"

(With as much calm as I can muster) "Sure buddy, would you like me to go get your Daddy too?"

"Yes please. And mom?"

"Yes buddy?"

"Could I also have a glass of water?"

At this point, I'm flying down the stairs grabbing water cups and Jeffrey and praying outloud and trying not to overthink it, but really praying that this is "the moment."

We head back into Jack's room and sit down and begin to talk and he really wanted to know about how to love Jesus with his whole heart. So, we started from the beginning. I grabbed everything I could find... I had a giant stuffed dog for God and a puppy for people and stacks of books representing sin and I think there was a giraffe playing Jesus (and you thought "The Shack" took liberties with characterization...) and then we told the whole process of God being holy and us not being able to get to God because of sin and Jesus coming and paying the penalty for sin (and we talked about what penalties were)... and Jack said...

"I just can't believe that Jesus rose from the dead. Is it true that doctors can raise people from the dead?"

"You mean like pastor Louie talked about on Easter?"

"uh huh."

"Well buddy, it IS true that sometimes people's hearts stop beating in the hospital and doctors work on them and work on them and the people's hearts start beating again. But, if that happens, it's still God that makes it happen. He controls everything. He's also the one that raised Jesus from the dead."

"I guess I just need to read more and pray and ask God to help me believe it. Do you think when I get older I'll be able to believe more?"

"There are some things that will make more sense as you get older, yes, but faith is all about believing something even if you can't see it and sometimes even when you can't understand it."

"I think I'd just like to read and pray for a while and ask God to help me believe it."

"Absolutely buddy. You can do that."

So that's what he does. Every night. That wasn't "the moment" and there hasn't been a ton of conversation since then.

On Sunday, it "just so happened" to be the Sunday that the GOSPEL was shared in Passion Kids. Our amazing storyteller, Daniel, told the story of the two trees in the garden, the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then he talked about the tree that Jesus died on and talked about the choice we all have to make of which tree we're going to eat from: the one that leads to life, or the one that leads to death. Jack listened intently. He came up to me afterwards and I thought "is this the moment????" and he asked:

"Mom, is that the REAL tree that Jesus died on?"

I explained that it wasn't, but it was a symbol of what really happened and asked if he had any more questions. He didn't. That wasn't the moment.

Throughout this journey the accusatory voice is getting softer and softer as the voice of Truth gets elevated.

The voice of Truth says:

"Wow...you took for granted that all of your children would believe in me. You never even considered that one of them would doubt. Sounds like a dose of humility could be taken right about now."

"You've suddenly begun doubting that I called you here, to this job, for this season, and that I knew all of this would be happening. Your focus has been entirely on what YOU should or shouldn't have done or be doing and not what I am doing. You're acting as though you are in control. Again."

"All matters of faith begin with ME. I am the initiator of all things and I am the one that draws people to myself. Your responsibility is to participate, tell, explain, listen, show... It is MY responsibility to DO. I'm the only one who can." 

As I've looked up out of my fear and worry, I've seen how masterfully God has been orchestrating Jack's surroundings. He's in a church full of truth. He hears truth ALL the time. He sits under a pastor that communicates it clearly and without reservation...and Jack's listening. He's memorizing scripture and is weekly engaged with leaders who are investing in him relationally and spiritually. He's reading books full of truth that we gave him...and he's remembering. He voiced his reservations about Jesus' resurrection 3 days after Easter and 4 days before hearing the gospel (for the second time that week!) in Passion Kids. He's reading the crucifixion, resurrection, appearance on the road to Emmaus and ascension every night. Every. Night.

As you can probably guess, my perspective on things has in some cases changed and in some cases sharpened in the last week and a half.

It has sharpened in that I'm more convinced than ever of God's sovereignty and where He has me, but specifically, what He's called me to. Jack is one of hundreds of kids that we get the privilege of seeing each week. Our mission is to put the truth of Jesus Christ in front of them and elevate Him as the highest treasure in life. Jack can't be the only child we're seeing that just "can't believe it." I am praying that God will use all of us that are leaders in Bloom and Passion Kids as seed-planters. That when the Jacks are with us, they leave with even more truth to chew on than when they came in.

My perspective has changed in the fact that I realize that I've been living in assumptions and fear. And not just about this. I've been assuming everything in my childrens' journey would go according to my plan. I've doubted that God had really thought it all through when He moved us to Atlanta. I'm acting as though I'm in control and can manage the outcomes in my life. I've been fearing what He's gifted me to do because I can't see how it fits. Most of all, I've been worrying more about what others think about me than what God says about me. I've also elevated the voices of accusation far more than just this time in my life.

So, by the grace of God, I refuse to live in fear. And, because I'm human...when I find myself living in fear, I'm going to remind myself (be it ever so sternly) that God was big enough to orchestrate our lives to bring us here, He is big enough to keep us while we're here, He's holding my life and the lives of my family firmly in His grasp and that He has plans for using me and us for our good and HIS GLORY.

He has positioned our lives for this time and has positioned our son according to His will and His plan. I'm so incredibly grateful for what Jack is surrounded by as he thinks, prays and ponders...and I recognize that God has provided it all. So, rather than doubt, I choose trust. Trust in the One who reveals it all to begin with. Trust in the One who's responsible to draw my son to Himself. Trust in His timeline. And I trust that if and when "the moment" comes...He will have orchestrated that too.

peace.






 

 

the truth about christy nockels...

Next week is going to be a big week for Christy Nockels as her latest album "Into The Glorious" releases on Tuesday. Because of what I do, I get the privilege of getting projects that come out of our organization just a little ahead of the world at large. Our team gets to start listening to the final result of what God's been brewing in the heart of an artist for months before we actually hold any product in our hands. The same has been true of "Into The Glorious."

As I've listened over and over to this record leading up to its release, it has occurred to me that the day and age we live in can often present a bit of a double-edged sword for those in ministry either in word or in song. It can be a double-edged sword because there is a fine line between making Jesus famous and making yourself famous. Between trusting Him to be faithful in delivering something where it needs to go and taking matters into your own hands to get it there. Between Jesus promotion and self promotion. Even when the promotion is of a product that makes Jesus famous and is something that He's called you to and gifted you for, it's just awkward to promote it yourself. That's what promoters are for. That's what they do. They promote things. But, now that Twitter, facebook and YouTube are on the scene, it's never been easier to promote yourself...or to broadcast yourself. I mean, you're reading this blog because I promoted it! But...I'd love to see us ramp up the promotion of others.

Don't get me wrong, those three particular tools and others like them have absolutely changed the world. When you find out about things on Twitter long before you could ever see them on the news, times have most certainly changed. I'm a Twitter user and a facebook user and see the value, the reach and the impact they can and do have. Just the same, I always find it the slightest bit awkward to see worship leaders and authors have to promote themselves...and I'm sure they find it just as awkward to figure out what to say. As I've pondered the love/hate relationship I have with social media and self promotion, I'm reminded of these scriptures:

"Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips." Proverbs 27:2 

Over the course of my life, I've had opportunities to be around fairly well-known people. People that other people admire and look up to. Pastors. Worship Leaders. Authors. Speakers. Singers. Athletes. Politicians. Many of these people are people that I also looked up to. When we admire people from afar, it's fairly common to think: "I wonder what he's like off stage." "I wonder if she's as personable as she seems." "I feel like I KNOW him!" "I think we'd be friends."

Most of the time, getting to know these people has been even further confirmation of the belief in Jesus that they so passionately speak or sing of. A few times, getting closer to a person I admired has resulted in a rude awakening. I mean, the closer you get to the core of an organization, the healthier or more dysfunctional it's revealed to be, right? So it goes for a person. The more you get to know them, the more the heart of who they really are is revealed. Often for me, it's caused me to be elated with how delightful they truly are...even more so than on the platform! Unfortunately, there have been a few times when I've been grieved to realize what a grand show it all is.

My relationship with Christy has been no different. Getting closer to her personally has unmistakeably revealed who she truly is. I by no means know her better than all others, we are not BFFs or some other ridiculous string of letters. What we are is women who find ourselves in ministry together, laboring alongside one another and with that, getting to know each other. So, in the spirit of Proverbs 27:2...

The more that I've gotten to know her in the last year, the more I've been thrilled to be up close to the well from which all those God-breathed lyrics effortlessly spring. The more I've gotten to know her, the more I've rejoiced that my far away admirations have not culminated in disappointment. And, the more I've gotten to know her, the more I've come to treasure the Jesus she is so desperately in love with. She speaks life, she speaks wisdom, she feels deeply and she loves well.

At this point, I'm sure you're thinking, "What's with the love-fest? Did she ask you to write this?" The answer to that is a resounding NO. Hopefully she'll still be talking to me by the end. She's been sweet to tolerate my gushy adoration of her gift for many years now. In truth, this post is timed because I DO want you to buy her record. When she tweets about it (as well she should), I want you to promote it, retweet it, facebook it and sky-write it if you feel so led. But I want you to do it knowing a little bit more about this woman from my view. Isn't it always good to hear that someone is as they seem?

Ultimately, along with promoting her record, I want to promote her. This woman has a heart of gold and inside it is the desire for each one of you to know intimately this Jesus of which she sings so beautifully and passionately. She's not making records and singing songs because people said she should...she's doing it because it's what she was made for. And in it is the desire to make much of Jesus so that in doing so,

you will be transformed by Him and make much of Him as well.

you'll draw near to Him and let Him draw near to you.

you'll come to Him with your every need and find in Him all you'll ever need.

This record is up close and deeply personal. It's meant to be that way. Stripped down, vulnerable, real. A reflection of the way she gets to minister most often...up close and personal. The songs pour forth lyrics that reveal her heart but in doing so they reflect what so many of us think at times but can't quite put words around. There's only one way to enjoy this record and that is REGULARLY.

Grab a cup of coffee or tea, a journal and some headphones. Put them in and shut out the static of the world around you. Close your eyes, push play and ask God to speak personally to you through what Christy has labored to pour out. Let her minister to you the way God has equipped her to. Up close and personal. You'll be glad you did.

PRE-ORDER "INTO THE GLORIOUS" HERE!
http://itunes.apple.com/us/preorder/into-the-glorious/id506196147

Now, I'll leave you with the question that has swirled in my head over the last few days...

"What do people discover about me the closer they get?"

hit me with your best shot...

Once upon a time, I was someone who was mightily opposed to doctor's offices, medicines (especially syrups...blech) and shots or needles of any kind. But, over the last several months, I've been dealing with some sort of heinous upper respiratory thing, the likes of which can only be combated by a steroid shot and stiff antibiotics. Now, a shot in the bum is about 70 billion slots down on my list of favorite things ever, but it's necessary nonetheless...and I've had three in the recent past.

As is often the case, it wasn't enough for just mom to be sick the last few months, so we've alternated through the kids having all sorts of maladies and issues from high fevers to puke bugs and have thrown some stitches and braces in the mix just for fun. The puke bug hit last night in our house and was 5 hours of every 30 minute wretching. Good for the abs, terrible for everything else...poor Maggie.

During Ali's bout with sickness and I mean SICKness recently, I said "Honey, we're going to take you to the doctor and get this seen about and see what we can do to help you!" To which she calmly replied (through more snot than you can imagine, a croup cough that made her sound like a baby seal and a 102 degree fever)... "I want to go to the doctor, but I'm not going to get a shot." I said, "You're not?" Her response? "No way."

I've been thinking about that seemingly innocuous conversation for a week or more. My kids actually have no problem going to the doctor. They go, sit on a table, look at shiny things, read books, play with big dinosaur action figures, step on scales, get temperatures taken by thermometers in their ears (and nowhere else...ahem), have someone come in and talk to them sweetly and tell them how big they're getting or how pretty, basically get a full body massage as the doctor checks them over, have medicine dispensed to them that tastes like bubblegum, or grape soda or any other conceivable flavor and leave with stickers and lollipops to go about their day. The only possible dark cloud in this utopia? The shot.

My children, if given the choice between a shot that would HEAL them or two and a half weeks of sickness, fevers and misery would choose the two and a half weeks. Every time. Ali was very firm in her proclamation of being glad to go to the doctor but absolutely opposed to getting a shot. Emphatic head shake and all. "No way."

Of course, I, being their wise and all-knowing mom, am starting to think "you silly, silly, child...don't you know that the shot is what you NEED? That's what's actually going to heal you and eradicate the illness! Everything else is just a band aid!" Then, as clearly as I was standing there and cocking my all-knowing head at Ali, I heard "what's your shot?"

Pardon? "You know, the thing (or things) I ask you to endure (or give up) in order to be healed? You have no problem coming to me and enjoying all that I have to offer when it's easy and attractive, but when you are tired and spent and ailing in your pursuit of holiness and I point at what is weighing you down and what you need to do or be rid of or get in check in order to be free and fulfilled, you have that same emphatic head shake...you choose the long road of laboring, bargaining and striving rather than the shot of surrender." Long swallow...

God, it's hardly the same thing. "Isn't it?"

That's how almost all of my spiritual lessons are taught by the way...through my children. And at the end of the day, it's exactly the same thing. I'd rather figure out how to rearrange, reorder, dress up, minimize and explain the things God points at in my life, rather than endure the quick, painful, but thorough obedience of surrender. I like everything fun and attractive that comes with a pursuit of holiness...churches, retreats, conferences, meaningful tweets and retweets, good books, small groups, excellent causes, missions, theology, amazing songs, corporate worship, community...

But the parts of actual holiness that can hurt? Suffering, refining, being set apart, authentic accountability, taking up the cross daily, persecution, relentless integrity, private purity, going to the ends of the earth, relational health, sacrificial generosity... When those things get pointed at, whether consciously or not, I fear I'm more apt to choose the long road of explaining, bargaining, diversion and excuse-making rather than the short SHOT of surrender.

I've realized the benefit of a shot to my physical life, and that's a day I never thought would come. I'm praying for the grace from God to embrace the benefit of a shot of surrender to my spiritual life whenever God diagnoses it as well. I can tell you one thing...I don't want my response to be "no way."

peace.

a passionate perspective...

Season: a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature; a suitable or natural time or occasion. (Webster)

This particular season in my life just culminated with the end of Passion 2012 in Atlanta. What. an. experience. There is SO much in me that can't stand describing things using the same words that everyone else in the whole world uses, but unfortunately, it seems that all the appropriate words are being grabbed for by everyone who joined either in person or online, so forgive me for sounding redundant. It was amazing, epic, awe-filled, surprising, huge and awesome. It was also exhausting, emotional, sacrificial and hard. Things that are worth doing usually are. We talked in our post-conference brunch as a team today about the fact that many of us don't get to be in the room for every session because of the nature of our roles, but we no-less experience the full measure of the conference...we just do it from a different perspective. So...before I fall into a haze of Christmas decoration tear-down around the house, unpacking, laundry, school lunches and backpacks, I wanted to get some gratefulness down in writing about Passion 2012. There will most certainly be personal shout-outs because Passion 2012 is made up of people all serving and worshiping the same Person. This is just my perspective, and I didn't have the good fortune of intersecting with everyone all the time, but it's a passionate perspective nonetheless...

it all started at the end of Passion 2011...

On the last day of P2011, Louie and Shelley announced Passion 2012 in the Georgia Dome. My personal hero, Matt Floyd, immediately went to work designing the online registration system for Passion 2012. It is imperative that you understand at this moment what a GENIUS this guy is. I would say things like "it would be great if the system could..." and within moments it was done. Every transaction, registration, refund, scholarship, transfer, group and individual registration I or anyone else initiated was made possible by this guy. He would be up 'till all hours of the morning on the other side of my computer screen via ichat helping me do whatever large task was before me and in most cases making what should take hours take mere minutes by his ability to do it "on a system level" rather than making me do extra steps. Oh, and by the way, registration isn't the only computer/web-related thing Matt does for Passion Conferences and Passion City Church, but beyond his technical brilliance is his innate ability to NEVER let a stressful situation get the best of him. He always keeps his cool and quietly goes about making things amazing. If you don't know him, you should.

As I continue thinking through the list of people I'm grateful for, my brain pauses on several names...

Emily Vogeltanz - I don't know if you've ever been up close to someone as you watch them carry and steward the vision that God's given them, but I get to pretty often. Many times as a vision is headed for completion or culmination, the load becomes a much heavier one and actually getting to the finish line seems almost impossible in the last days and hours. I'm not sure that this has ever been more the case than in the culmination of the Freedom expression on the plaza at Passion 2012. The vision had taken shape many months prior in the back room of the Passion house, but the culmination was an absolute LABOR of love, weather, sweat, freezing and tears. Through it all, whether "fresh" off of an hour of sleep in the morning, or huddled up and finally having a hot meal at night, tears of exhaustion were never far and neither was Emily's firm belief that God would come through. And He did. Emily, I loved watching you trust God...and I loved even more watching God come through. Freedom!

As we rolled through registration day, it was a steady, busy flow of people. As we neared 7pm, it became evident that we weren't going to be able to start the session on time because of the still massive amount of people that needed to be registered, receive their credentials and get into a seat in the Dome. That's when Vicky Porterfield, Wendy Durnwald and their team of intercessors went to work praying for the process. We went from EVERYONE in line to NO ONE in line in a matter of 10 minutes. There is no explanation for it other than God. He sent Susanne Fatigati, Aaron Fortner and the amazing Brown Team to help and before we knew what had happened, the kids were in, the session was beginning and registration had worked. Only God...and some amazing people.

And that brings me to the best part of registration...my co-leader, sister-in-law and friend, Sarah Richards. There are not adequate words, and I'm really glad that I'm typing rather than talking because I would most assuredly cry. Getting to do the last several Passion conferences side by side with her is a privilege I'll always search for appropriate words to describe. We are the perfect complement for one another and God has blessed me completely in giving me her for this journey and in life. She is a light, has such a tender heart and loves Jesus so much. I'm a better version of myself when she's around! Okay Say Say, you ready for 2013? :)

If you've ever been around a Passion conference, then you surely know that registration doesn't just happen because of myself, Sarah or Matt, it happens because of the beautiful team of Registration Doorholders that God raises up each year. They are pumped, ready and capable and they make an otherwise menial task fun and exciting. What's more...they do it as a ministry to these students and leaders...they know they're the first face of Passion and they do all they can to be sure that students are welcomed and readied to encounter Jesus in these days. And, to our core team for registration, set-up, tear down and info booths: Tammy Pruden, Meredith Mitchell, Alicia Scott, Mark Henderson, Joshua Berry, Doug, Christy, Haley and Conner Monda, Stacey, Joey, Sophie and Olivia Windover, Melanie Amos, Chelsea Ponder, Kimberly Burks, Livia Maia, Hannah Rosbrook, and Alan Putnam...THANK YOU for staying on the journey with us and for seeing it through to the end! You're amazing!

I'm sure this will seem trivial to most, but to me, it was a glorious moment. I mentioned in passing one day on site (and can't even remember to whom) that I never drink coffee at Passion because I am so used to using hazelnut creamer out of the container in my fridge and don't really know how to convert the little one serving creamer packets to that. So, I usually just punt on coffee and choose something else. Would you believe that the next morning there were two containers of hazelnut creamer in the office fridge for me? I HAD COFFEE EVERY MORNING OF THE CONFERENCE! That may seem stupid, but that is just one evidence of how detailed and caring Jon Ackley-Jelinek and our Hospitality Team are. He'd heard that I wanted something like that, got the details and made it happen. That's what they did for everyone in the building all week. And this girl was supremely grateful for specially-bought creamer. It's the little things!

Speaking of little things, Passion does a phenomenal job of appreciation. When I arrived in my hotel room, there was a specially made basket waiting for me with all sorts of little goodies. The best thing about the basket was that they were all things that were my favorites. They'd been specifically picked by Courtney Henry and placed in my room because they were things I like. Courtney and her team did that over and over and over in various hotel rooms for our team. Not an easy task...but always one she lovingly pores over in the weeks leading up to the conference. What a neat role to play...serving others so they can serve others, and so on. Courtney, thank you for knowing me well and loving me well! I love getting to be on this journey with you and I love YOU!

At a couple of points during Passion,  things were happening that were overwhelming and emotional and needed immediate attention. I won't go into all the details because they're not important. What is important are the people who JUMPED to remedy, transport, assess and walk alongside as these things were handled. They know how they helped, but God only knows how they ministered. Jay Desai, Lori Mallard, Renee McKenzie, Kristen Franklin...thank you for being at the right places at the right times with the right abilities and the right words to lend to the situation(s). Grateful for each of you.

There will be NO way to actually capture everyone that I crossed paths with this week that made an impact on me...and in fact, even as I know I'm only going to mention two more, three or four are making their way into my brain. Maybe I can write a second post someday...

Misty Paige. I don't know how you carried what you carried, but I know that you did it well! Even though I think in logistics, I am still in awe of your ability to not only think in logistics, but execute and lead the logistics of this conference so well. You are ALWAYS forthcoming with information, follow up, clarity and helpful details. You've thought things through far past the point where everyone else stops thinking about it or has never started. You never let the details eclipse Jesus and for that balance, I'm so grateful. Thank you for how well you've led, journeyed and conquered! Love you! Take a little breather... :)

Cheryl Bell... I will never know how you can carry all the details of every team and person in your head and recall them at any time, I will never know how you manage to never lose your cool and never panic or respond sharply and I will never know how you're still standing at the end of 18 and 20 hour days and then get up to do it all again the next day. But, what I do know is WHY you do it and WHO you do it for. Thank you for your leadership, for your transparency and for your patience with me. I am grateful for all we've walked through and look forward to the journey ahead...

Passion is always an amazing experience. God is always an amazing God, so there's almost no way that it won't be. But, to all the people who take care of all the details...those I've named above and the countless that I haven't...I think of the illustration of the swan...you are truly paddling furiously under the water so that the swan can glide across the lake without so much as a ripple. Freedom rang, people gave, Jesus was lifted up, those who were dead are now alive!!!

For me personally, I got to have my kids there for some select times with Jeffrey. This was their first experience of Passion...specifically registration and their personal favorite...Lecrae. You're never really sure how much your kids are absorbing and there wasn't a lot of time for conversation in the midst of it. But, they were impacted and I'm grateful. Jack's note proves it. :) The picture of Ali is a direct representation of what I'll be doing for the next week on a cruise to Mexico with my hubby. She was completely worn out by her Passion experience...and those two wristbands won't come off of Maggie, Jack or Ali for months...which is a testament to how Passion just tends to stick with you...encounters with Jesus are like that...no matter which perspective you look from.

peace.

jack's note of encouragement for lecrae

rest...