Yes, this blog is titled after a John Mayer song, but it's remarkably accurate. Lately, this journey that God has me on has continually exposed my one BIG and OVER-ARCHING weakness. My. Mouth. Those of you that know me well are thinking, "Really? You're just now reaching this conclusion?" Those of you that have been exposed to me but don't know me well are thinking, "Oh, thank goodness! She does know she has an issue there!" Well, take comfort, friends. I've known since at least high school when my sweet friend Nicole told me that I hurt her with my words on a fairly regular basis. Ouch.
Over the years, my battle with my words has taken many forms. In high school, I was a master at exploiting your weakness, and then camping on it for a little bit and turning it into something everyone else thought was funny and that you probably laughed along with but were secretly dying inside over. That, I fear, is exactly what happened with Nicole. Now, I was by no means a bully. I was even GREAT friends with Nicole. But, I was funny (and was voted "funniest" in my senior superlatives, thank you very much) and I thought that gave me license to take things further than they should go. I wasn't doing this on purpose, but I certainly wasn't doing my due diligence and making sure that my words were healing rather than hurting. Nicole's confrontation was quite a wake up call for me.
During college and my young, single days, (I'm still young, by the way. I am.) I realized pretty quickly that I was far smarter than the average person. I mean, come on. I was the one that would say what everyone else wouldn't say. I would give my opinion on everything, call you on your sin, or my opinion of the sin in your life, let other people know my opinion on your sin, talk to everyone about everyone else and feed off of other big personalities to make myself even more noticeable. Quick sidebar: me thinking I was smarter than everyone else was pure arrogance, me giving my opinion and calling everyone on their sin was pure pride, and me talking to everyone else about everyone else was pure gossip. Also, feeding off other people's big personalities made me just plain annoying.
Anyway.......my friend Todd Fields played an integral role in the life of young, single Shannon. He sat me down and told me that he'd known me since I was a kid and he didn't like who I was when I was around certain people. He knew that wasn't who I really was or who I'd been raised to be and that he wanted to see me held accountable to helping it stop. Ouch. Again.
Though that wasn't the most comfortable conversation I've ever had, it was extremely freeing. You see, the Holy Spirit had already begun to work on that in me. He was pressing that button, if you will. Then, at just the right time, He sent Todd along to confirm what He'd begun. I'm grateful that Todd was faithful! The nice thing about those years and that experience is that now, I never struggle with any of those things anymore.
***
Oh...how I wish that were true. The fact of the matter is...there are some things that I've matured enough not to struggle with very often. I rarely exploit a weakness in someone else for the sake of a funny moment. To their face. Over time, I've learned how to handle my mouth by disciplining myself and knowing what I can say and to whom I can say it. I know the "safe places" where I'm allowed to vent and yell and gossip and ridicule and degrade and spew about others, and the "holy places" where I shalt not. I'm still very funny at the expense of others with the right group of people. I'm still a master of the "we were all thinking it but she just said it!" shock moment. I'm still crass, super sarcastic and gossipy, but only at safe times where my overall reputation isn't on the line. I temper my facebook statuses and twitter posts to be sure that I portray just the right version of myself.
I mean, don't think I didn't have some choice words to say about Fergie's particular vocal stylings during the Super Bowl. But, I typed, erased, typed, erased, typed and erased the statuses enough times that finally, over the roaring of my own arrogance and by the grace of God alone, I heard the Holy Spirit whispering,"Really? Is the funny zinger line REALLY what this is about? Or maybe...just maybe is it about the bigger issue of your heart condition...which, by My design, is always expressed by your mouth?" And so, for the third time, I'm forced to say, "Ouch." Big time. There are a couple of things in my life that the Lord is camping on. With this issue in particular, I feel like he's pulled in a double-wide trailer, planted some shrubs and set out plastic patio furniture...indicating that He'll be here for awhile.
The more I've pondered, the more I've realized that this isn't just about the gossip, or the sarcasm, it's about the complaining, the raised voices with my children, the grumbling about this or that, the tone of voice I use to speak to my husband, the big sigh, the disgusted groan, the under the breath mumble, the whining and anything else that proceeds out of my mouth.
"Are you kidding me, Lord? All of it?" "Yep...all of it." "But I have THREE SMALL CHILDREN!" "That I gave you." "I have a husband who doesn't leave the house exactly as I like it!" "I gave you him, too." "But, Lord! She's annoying and always has to be right!" "And I made her in My image." "A monkey could do that job, Lord. He's stupid." "And yet, I've put him in your path today and your response is all I'm really concerned with." (long, uncomfortable pause.) "oh."
In typical fashion, God sent along someone to underscore what He is teaching me. Fortunately for me, it was Beth Moore. I mean, I'm sure she intended her tweet for others as well, but it seemed specifically designed for me...and I'm sure in God's infinite wisdom, it was. This was her tweet (twitter post, for you non-tweeters): "Today's challenge to anyone who's game: Go all day 'till falling asleep tonight without complaining or criticizing a single time..." Then, right after that tweet, I walked out to kiss Maggie on the head and realized that she AGAIN had lice. AGAIN!!! Ugh...(without complaining or criticizing...without complaining or criticizing...) Hmmm...in case I had designs on convincing God that my complaining, criticizing, grumbling and gossip were justified, I was now the one convinced that they are NOT.
My heart's desire is for my words to bring life and healing and to ultimately harness for God the MOST glory possible. I no longer want to be guilty of blessings and cursing out of the same mouth. The Book of James makes it very clear that this ought not be so! (James 3:10) Besides...while I'm busy allowing my flesh to run rampant with my tongue for evil, I may never know how the Spirit intends to harness it for His glory and use it for good.
And so it begins! Again! It's the seemingly insurmountable climb up the mountain of my verbal vexation. My journey will be lengthy and laborious, will most certainly be fraught with peril of many kinds and will without a doubt be grueling. You close friends also get the distinct privilege of holding me accountable! I know, I know......you can thank me later. I do believe though, that He who began a good work is ALWAYS faithful to complete it. This is certainly a good work.
"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45
"Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:3-8
peace.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
musings on michael jackson...
this was a post from the summer shortly after Michael Jackson died.
Let me just start by saying that this is not going to be a feel-good walk down the memory lane of the king of pop's kingdom. If you're reading this for some sort of moving tribute, you will probably want to just head on back to the home page of facebook. I feel it necessary to give fair warning so that you are not unpleasantly surprised if this is what you are seeking. I feel, however, after a little tour around facebook today, that there are some things that need to be said...then they can stop bouncing around in my brain!
Now, if you are even still reading this far, if for no other reason than sheer curiosity, I do want to say that Michael Jackson's contribution to the worlds of music, culture and charity have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated by me. Music moves me. Plain and simple. This man was talented unlike anything that had ever been observed. His songwriting, dance and musical ability in general and his ability to cross genres with his music, his collaborations and his creativity have been often imitated and almost never duplicated. So...with all that said...
I have been stunned and mostly confused and certainly disappointed at the "christian" response to this man's death that has been going on over this particular social networking site for the past two weeks. We have certainly been swinging for the fences. The interesting thing is that not unlike the presidential election of several months back, we seem to have thrown God, His sovereignty and the whole counsel of scripture out the window for a feel-good, self-soothing and culture-embracing hybrid of truth...if it can even be called truth. We are batting scripture around with no regard for context and inserting our own assertions about what's probably going on in heaven or hell right now. We are attacking fellow believers because of where we've decided that they should stand and we are quick to speak for God and what He would say on the issue.
In God's infinite wisdom and sovereignty, He knew ahead of time that we would feel an insatiable need to make ourselves feel better and to search unceasingly for ways to self-comfort and "find" God in times of tragedy and sorrow. He also knew that we would need a blueprint for pursuing holiness in the wake of our fallen condition and consistent war against our flesh. He even knew our propensity for worship of everything BUT him and substitution of idols of every kind for worship of the only Person worth it. So...in His wisdom, He addressed it all ahead of time in His Word. Referring to the truth contained therein provides the definitive answers to the insanity of the past two weeks.
The things I've read recently have rendered me speechless on many more occasions than I'd care to admit. If you know me at all, you know that rendering me speechless about anything is a feat of epic proportions. Claims that Michael Jackson is now moonwalking for the entertainment of God, that he was a sick pedophile who got exactly what he deserved and that it would've been better if someone had "popped" him for being a child abuser, and everything in between from those of us who call ourselves believers, have left me searching to make sense of the chaos. There are several facts that I feel it is important to remember, in light of everything we've witnessed.
1. All of Michael Jackson's poor choices, "secret" proclivities, extravagances, excesses and strange behaviors were on parade for all to see. We are so quick to argue that He should've known better, that He was a freak and that He brought it all on himself. The funny thing is that the ONLY thing that separates Michael Jackson from you and me IS the celebrity status. We can be so self-righteous in our finger pointing and yet from where God sits, there is ZERO difference in Michael Jackson and in you or me in relation to our sin and our position before God. His laundry list of "reputation damaging" exploits does not differ from ours. Sin is sin. Gossip, slander, malice, sexual promiscuity and perversion, pornography, addiction, lying, stealing, idol worship, gluttony, lack of self control, pride. And that just hits the highlights of what is probably hanging out on most of our lists. I shudder to think what fodder the media would have on each of us and what we struggle with if they thought anyone would actually care. It's easy to point the finger at the "wacko" when we've got our lists tucked safely in our pockets away from the prying eyes of the world. The judgment seat is a super comfortable one until the standard of the Holy One gets applied. Then, everyone assumes their rightful place as GUILTY, unable to offer anything in defense of themselves. (Romans 3:23)
2. The only hope for Michael Jackson, Shannon Scott or any of us rests in one place and one place alone: the unmerited and undeserved grace of God, the drawing of the Holy Spirit unto the Father and our acceptance of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ's flesh and blood body on our behalf as the full and complete payment for the sins which separated us eternally from the Holy One. Anything less than, next to, in addition to or in place of that is insufficient. There is nothing that can be added to or subtracted from the cross of Christ...the Gospel. It is completely sufficient and alone is the standard which must be applied for determining one's position before God and eternal security. (Romans 1:16)
3. We will NOT know definitively on this side where Michael Jackson is spending eternity. Of several things, we CAN be certain. He is spending it somewhere. He had a certain number of days appointed on this earth and when that number of days were up, he died. He does not get a do-over, and neither do we. We also are living out the number of the days appointed for us. We do not know when that number is up and what we do with that number of days will have a profound impact, one way or another. We should probably stop short of spouting our opinions on one's eternal destiny. Scripture is clear that we will know people by their fruits, but the only One who can make the determination on the destination is God. He alone is sovereign and none of us knows what the end result was in this man's life. (I Cor. 4:5)
4. There is no one entertaining God in heaven and He doesn't need to be spoken for. GOD IS IT. He is the center of attention, the star of the show, the focus, the main attraction and He does not share His glory with another. Everything is by Him and about Him and for Him. Those of us who know Him will spend eternity with no idol confusion or divided loyalties. He alone is worthy. My friend Steve Fee said it well when he said "The king of pop now stands before the King Of Glory. Fame redefined." (Isaiah 48:11)
5. If we have this much time to care infinitely about, join fan clubs in honor of, DVR funeral services honoring, argue on FB with those differing in opinion over, and spending countless dollars music and paraphenalia buying all about someone with whom most of us had zero amount of actual human contact..... couldn't we at least get fired up and motivated to share the beauty of the Gospel with those we DO have human contact with whose number of appointed days are ticking by as well? Couldn't we spend the time to surrender and relinquish the right to harbor the sins we hold so dear, rather than condemning those of another? If we spent as much time, effort and money on making a difference for eternity's sake as Michael Jackson did to make a difference in the world, I think we'd be amazed at how different our landscape might be. (Psalm 139:16)
Time will march on, other celebrities will die just like all of the celebrities who've gone before. We may become complacent again and then we will all be shaken out of our reverie and begin grasping for ways to define it, explain it, commemorate it and remember it. What we need never forget is that there is one Person and one Person only who's ever died and deserved every bit of the press that His death garnered and more...and then, three days later...He rose again. Now THAT is newsworthy and never gets old.
peace.
Let me just start by saying that this is not going to be a feel-good walk down the memory lane of the king of pop's kingdom. If you're reading this for some sort of moving tribute, you will probably want to just head on back to the home page of facebook. I feel it necessary to give fair warning so that you are not unpleasantly surprised if this is what you are seeking. I feel, however, after a little tour around facebook today, that there are some things that need to be said...then they can stop bouncing around in my brain!
Now, if you are even still reading this far, if for no other reason than sheer curiosity, I do want to say that Michael Jackson's contribution to the worlds of music, culture and charity have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated by me. Music moves me. Plain and simple. This man was talented unlike anything that had ever been observed. His songwriting, dance and musical ability in general and his ability to cross genres with his music, his collaborations and his creativity have been often imitated and almost never duplicated. So...with all that said...
I have been stunned and mostly confused and certainly disappointed at the "christian" response to this man's death that has been going on over this particular social networking site for the past two weeks. We have certainly been swinging for the fences. The interesting thing is that not unlike the presidential election of several months back, we seem to have thrown God, His sovereignty and the whole counsel of scripture out the window for a feel-good, self-soothing and culture-embracing hybrid of truth...if it can even be called truth. We are batting scripture around with no regard for context and inserting our own assertions about what's probably going on in heaven or hell right now. We are attacking fellow believers because of where we've decided that they should stand and we are quick to speak for God and what He would say on the issue.
In God's infinite wisdom and sovereignty, He knew ahead of time that we would feel an insatiable need to make ourselves feel better and to search unceasingly for ways to self-comfort and "find" God in times of tragedy and sorrow. He also knew that we would need a blueprint for pursuing holiness in the wake of our fallen condition and consistent war against our flesh. He even knew our propensity for worship of everything BUT him and substitution of idols of every kind for worship of the only Person worth it. So...in His wisdom, He addressed it all ahead of time in His Word. Referring to the truth contained therein provides the definitive answers to the insanity of the past two weeks.
The things I've read recently have rendered me speechless on many more occasions than I'd care to admit. If you know me at all, you know that rendering me speechless about anything is a feat of epic proportions. Claims that Michael Jackson is now moonwalking for the entertainment of God, that he was a sick pedophile who got exactly what he deserved and that it would've been better if someone had "popped" him for being a child abuser, and everything in between from those of us who call ourselves believers, have left me searching to make sense of the chaos. There are several facts that I feel it is important to remember, in light of everything we've witnessed.
1. All of Michael Jackson's poor choices, "secret" proclivities, extravagances, excesses and strange behaviors were on parade for all to see. We are so quick to argue that He should've known better, that He was a freak and that He brought it all on himself. The funny thing is that the ONLY thing that separates Michael Jackson from you and me IS the celebrity status. We can be so self-righteous in our finger pointing and yet from where God sits, there is ZERO difference in Michael Jackson and in you or me in relation to our sin and our position before God. His laundry list of "reputation damaging" exploits does not differ from ours. Sin is sin. Gossip, slander, malice, sexual promiscuity and perversion, pornography, addiction, lying, stealing, idol worship, gluttony, lack of self control, pride. And that just hits the highlights of what is probably hanging out on most of our lists. I shudder to think what fodder the media would have on each of us and what we struggle with if they thought anyone would actually care. It's easy to point the finger at the "wacko" when we've got our lists tucked safely in our pockets away from the prying eyes of the world. The judgment seat is a super comfortable one until the standard of the Holy One gets applied. Then, everyone assumes their rightful place as GUILTY, unable to offer anything in defense of themselves. (Romans 3:23)
2. The only hope for Michael Jackson, Shannon Scott or any of us rests in one place and one place alone: the unmerited and undeserved grace of God, the drawing of the Holy Spirit unto the Father and our acceptance of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ's flesh and blood body on our behalf as the full and complete payment for the sins which separated us eternally from the Holy One. Anything less than, next to, in addition to or in place of that is insufficient. There is nothing that can be added to or subtracted from the cross of Christ...the Gospel. It is completely sufficient and alone is the standard which must be applied for determining one's position before God and eternal security. (Romans 1:16)
3. We will NOT know definitively on this side where Michael Jackson is spending eternity. Of several things, we CAN be certain. He is spending it somewhere. He had a certain number of days appointed on this earth and when that number of days were up, he died. He does not get a do-over, and neither do we. We also are living out the number of the days appointed for us. We do not know when that number is up and what we do with that number of days will have a profound impact, one way or another. We should probably stop short of spouting our opinions on one's eternal destiny. Scripture is clear that we will know people by their fruits, but the only One who can make the determination on the destination is God. He alone is sovereign and none of us knows what the end result was in this man's life. (I Cor. 4:5)
4. There is no one entertaining God in heaven and He doesn't need to be spoken for. GOD IS IT. He is the center of attention, the star of the show, the focus, the main attraction and He does not share His glory with another. Everything is by Him and about Him and for Him. Those of us who know Him will spend eternity with no idol confusion or divided loyalties. He alone is worthy. My friend Steve Fee said it well when he said "The king of pop now stands before the King Of Glory. Fame redefined." (Isaiah 48:11)
5. If we have this much time to care infinitely about, join fan clubs in honor of, DVR funeral services honoring, argue on FB with those differing in opinion over, and spending countless dollars music and paraphenalia buying all about someone with whom most of us had zero amount of actual human contact..... couldn't we at least get fired up and motivated to share the beauty of the Gospel with those we DO have human contact with whose number of appointed days are ticking by as well? Couldn't we spend the time to surrender and relinquish the right to harbor the sins we hold so dear, rather than condemning those of another? If we spent as much time, effort and money on making a difference for eternity's sake as Michael Jackson did to make a difference in the world, I think we'd be amazed at how different our landscape might be. (Psalm 139:16)
Time will march on, other celebrities will die just like all of the celebrities who've gone before. We may become complacent again and then we will all be shaken out of our reverie and begin grasping for ways to define it, explain it, commemorate it and remember it. What we need never forget is that there is one Person and one Person only who's ever died and deserved every bit of the press that His death garnered and more...and then, three days later...He rose again. Now THAT is newsworthy and never gets old.
peace.
a higher standard...
God stirs ideas and trains of thought around in me for a while and then brings me to an inevitable point where I have to write them down and put some skin on them.
This is one of those days.
Lately, I’ve been on a literal quest to learn what it means to be holy. Now, in the event that you’re tempted to think “wow…how self righteous is she?”, let me assure you that the reason that I’m on this quest is because I’m confronted daily with how miserably I am failing at this concept. I’m doing a study on the fear of God (which I don’t recommend unless you want to have your world rocked) and am realizing with each passing day how easily I diminish God and fit Him into my world. I know, I know, I’ve listened to enough John Piper in my life to grasp the concept of the supremacy of God in all of life, right? Sure. What I don’t think I’ve started to grasp until just recently is what the supremacy of God looks like in all of MY life. I mean, it’s really easy for me to say “Obama’s president because God is sovereign and He placed him there,” or to say “I believe God’s in charge of everything and could’ve healed him or her of cancer if He’d wanted to, but He’s God, so I trust Him.” I can also sit at the greatest conferences in the world and listen to this generation’s foremost communicators extol the majesty and holiness of God and be stirred to my very core by the truth they speak. Then, moments later can be led quite literally into the throne room of God by worship leaders whom He’s inspired to give voice to the praises that are due Him and believe with everything in me what I’m singing. But…what then? What does God’s supremacy look like in MY life, and what does it look like for me to answer the call of 1 Peter 1:15-17 “But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written ‘Be holy because I am holy.’ Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live as strangers here in reverent fear.”
I gotta tell you…I don’t feel like a stranger here. I’m pretty comfortable in this world and in my life. And, let’s be honest…compared to the pagans I see and even some of the Christians, I’m not doing too badly at this holiness thing either. “That’s not your measuring stick.” Ummm….perhaps I could pause long enough from patting myself on my self-righteous back to let that sink in. “That’s not your measuring stick. The pagans of the world and even the other Christians of the world are not your measuring stick. I am your measuring stick. Be holy because I am holy.” There’s a snap to perspective for you. When true holiness is on the line, the God-kind, it’s suddenly quite clear how short I fall.
Who am I kidding? I’ve actually had the audacity to create a hybrid version of holiness! Some kind of worship singing, church serving, sermon listening, family presenting, good deed doing, tithe check writing, republican voting, cause supporting, mission trip funding version of holiness that still allows me to cater to my gossip spewing, partiality showing, tv show craving, addiction feeding, possession loving, superior attitude sporting, language using, judgment rendering, “secret” sin fostering lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed, with a few well-placed “that’s what she said” moments on the top, just because they’re darn funny. I mean, I’m sure I’m the only one who struggles with this, but in my world, I really want to know what it means to actually BE holy, not just talk about it. I want to know what needs to change about my life if my measuring stick really is the holiness of God.
I think the founders of that whole “what would Jesus do?” movement, had it right. I don’t know that the execution of it was great, and it’s sad when it’s even made fun of in Christian circles, but the premise is right. What would it look like if Jesus were walking with me through my days? How would having a truly holy person walking by my side impact my decisions? If I knew that Jesus were watching me, what would I do differently? Oh….wait…aren’t all of those things true? Isn’t that EXACTLY what is happening? Don’t I have the Holy Spirit of God living inside me empowering me with the same power that raised Christ from the dead? Of course I do, but I don’t want to leave the comfort of my world-influenced life most of the time to walk in that reality. Well, it’s getting old. This ride of pseudo-holiness is losing it’s luster. It’s time to set a higher standard and use the ultimate measuring stick to evaluate the progress. But then again…maybe that’s just me.
peace.
This is one of those days.
Lately, I’ve been on a literal quest to learn what it means to be holy. Now, in the event that you’re tempted to think “wow…how self righteous is she?”, let me assure you that the reason that I’m on this quest is because I’m confronted daily with how miserably I am failing at this concept. I’m doing a study on the fear of God (which I don’t recommend unless you want to have your world rocked) and am realizing with each passing day how easily I diminish God and fit Him into my world. I know, I know, I’ve listened to enough John Piper in my life to grasp the concept of the supremacy of God in all of life, right? Sure. What I don’t think I’ve started to grasp until just recently is what the supremacy of God looks like in all of MY life. I mean, it’s really easy for me to say “Obama’s president because God is sovereign and He placed him there,” or to say “I believe God’s in charge of everything and could’ve healed him or her of cancer if He’d wanted to, but He’s God, so I trust Him.” I can also sit at the greatest conferences in the world and listen to this generation’s foremost communicators extol the majesty and holiness of God and be stirred to my very core by the truth they speak. Then, moments later can be led quite literally into the throne room of God by worship leaders whom He’s inspired to give voice to the praises that are due Him and believe with everything in me what I’m singing. But…what then? What does God’s supremacy look like in MY life, and what does it look like for me to answer the call of 1 Peter 1:15-17 “But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written ‘Be holy because I am holy.’ Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live as strangers here in reverent fear.”
I gotta tell you…I don’t feel like a stranger here. I’m pretty comfortable in this world and in my life. And, let’s be honest…compared to the pagans I see and even some of the Christians, I’m not doing too badly at this holiness thing either. “That’s not your measuring stick.” Ummm….perhaps I could pause long enough from patting myself on my self-righteous back to let that sink in. “That’s not your measuring stick. The pagans of the world and even the other Christians of the world are not your measuring stick. I am your measuring stick. Be holy because I am holy.” There’s a snap to perspective for you. When true holiness is on the line, the God-kind, it’s suddenly quite clear how short I fall.
Who am I kidding? I’ve actually had the audacity to create a hybrid version of holiness! Some kind of worship singing, church serving, sermon listening, family presenting, good deed doing, tithe check writing, republican voting, cause supporting, mission trip funding version of holiness that still allows me to cater to my gossip spewing, partiality showing, tv show craving, addiction feeding, possession loving, superior attitude sporting, language using, judgment rendering, “secret” sin fostering lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed, with a few well-placed “that’s what she said” moments on the top, just because they’re darn funny. I mean, I’m sure I’m the only one who struggles with this, but in my world, I really want to know what it means to actually BE holy, not just talk about it. I want to know what needs to change about my life if my measuring stick really is the holiness of God.
I think the founders of that whole “what would Jesus do?” movement, had it right. I don’t know that the execution of it was great, and it’s sad when it’s even made fun of in Christian circles, but the premise is right. What would it look like if Jesus were walking with me through my days? How would having a truly holy person walking by my side impact my decisions? If I knew that Jesus were watching me, what would I do differently? Oh….wait…aren’t all of those things true? Isn’t that EXACTLY what is happening? Don’t I have the Holy Spirit of God living inside me empowering me with the same power that raised Christ from the dead? Of course I do, but I don’t want to leave the comfort of my world-influenced life most of the time to walk in that reality. Well, it’s getting old. This ride of pseudo-holiness is losing it’s luster. It’s time to set a higher standard and use the ultimate measuring stick to evaluate the progress. But then again…maybe that’s just me.
peace.
time for restored joy...
a post from january of 2009
So I was cleaning the house today and blasting my iTunes as is my general practice. Usually I have it on my dancing music, but today just really felt like it needed to be the worship playlist. I try to follow through on those “gut feelings” when they come because I’m learning that if I follow through, the Holy Spirit is nudging me toward something I need to experience and/or learn. Today was especially poignant and I knew why pretty quickly. After some trips through Lincoln Brewster and Passion singing at the top of my lungs, came Mac Powell’s voice blaring through with no flashy musical introduction. “Hide your face from my sins, and cover my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Don’t cast me away from your presence. Don’t take your Spirit from me.” These words are from Psalm 51 and are David’s pleas to the Father after being confronted by Nathan over his adultery with Bathsheba. Of course, I, being a really good christian, have never lured a bathing woman to my palace where I was watching her from a rooftop, slept with her, gotten her pregnant and had her husband killed, so I was able to sing through these words without too much pause...after all...I AM a really good christian. Then came the chorus...
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, restore to me the wonders of your love, restore to me the joy of your salvation, restore to me...restore to me.” At that point, I felt the all too familiar throat-clearing of the Holy Spirit. That’s how He deals with me, you see. There are not usually lights and sirens...no flares sent up...just that little “ahem.” If I’m wise, I always pause when that occurs. The times I get into trouble are when I don’t. So...it came and I asked my question. “Okay, Lord...what do I need to see?” As I started to listen, I started to realize that I was singing along harmonizing with Candi and Mac perfectly while not really listening to what I was singing. What does it look like to know the joy of my salvation? Am I even remotely operating in that joy? Could I even name the wonders of His love if asked right now? Sure, I could give all the “christianese” answers in the world, but what are the wonders of His love for ME, and what is the joy of MY salvation? This sent me on a quest. First...to Psalm 51...what does this Psalm mean for me, since I’m a pretty good little christian? Why am I being sideswiped by this song today?
“Have mercy on me, O God according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight...” "...Behold you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”
Hmmm....granted, I’ve never done what David did...or have I? If the thoughts and the attitudes of my heart were scrolling across my forehead, would I want to run and hide in a cave? Um...yeah. If the sentences of condemnation that I hand down in my mind to those that I consider beneath me in dress, social status or overall existence were plastered for all to see, would I be embarrassed to tears? Um...yeah. If the things I were really thinking about someone while I’m staring them in the face and pretending to be polite were actually being played on a tape recorder for all to hear, would I be utterly ashamed? Um...yeah. If what I did, said and thought when I knew no one would ever know were to suddenly be made public, would people have a radically different perception of me than before? Probably. “But the only person that matters DOES really see, hear and know all of those things. He’s the one who was beaten, suffered and died to free you from that, and He knows ALL of it. Perhaps you are a little more like David than you’d like to believe.” That was it. The punch in the gut moment. And...as I listened to Candi sing the second verse in stunned silence, it all seemed much more applicable to my life. You see, when I view myself correctly and through the lens of the holiness of Christ, my sins and iniquities become very apparent. I’m riddled with them and they threaten to consume me. They are not “little” as compared with David’s...they are exactly the same and when I view them as God views them, covered in His blood pooled at the foot of the cross, they put me in a perfect position to recognize the wonder of my salvation. When I'm on the ground at the foot of the cross of Christ, I can suddenly see the wonder of it all quite clearly.
“Hide your face from my sins and cover my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Don’t cast me away from your presence, don’t take your Spirit from me.” Then, it occurred to me that if I were actually living in the restored joy of my salvation, and reveling in the wonders of His love, I might be less likely to be living in my flesh-consumned palace rooftop state. So...I began to ponder the joy and the wonder of...
perfection. He who knew NO sin, yet became sin on my behalf so that I could become the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Cor. 5:21)
mercy. He does not deal with me as my sins deserve and does not repay me according to my sins. (Psalm 103:10)
forgiveness. In Him, I have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of my sins according to the riches of His grace which He lavished upon me in all wisdom and insight. (Ephesians 1:7)
transparency. Before a word is on my tongue He knows it completely. (Psalm 139:4)
grace. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin
reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life. (Romans 5:20-21)
Those are just the tip of the iceberg. Even a few moments meditating on the true wonder of a God stepping out of heaven to do what no one else could and redeem people who had no hope is enough to bring me to tears, increase my desire for holiness and keep my gaze fixed on eternity. It’s so easy to go from day to day, mundane task to mundane task marking off days on the calendar and scheduling all of my activities around when my favorite shows or sporting events are coming on...after all...those are important things to me! It’s so easy to go through life with my sinful thoughts, secret sins and the sins that I’ve let myself believe really aren’t that bad. After all...no one else knows, right? I sometimes feel I’ve resigned myself to leading a basically comfortable Christian life without considering the fact that it’s not actually about me. I rarely stop to ask in the busyness of three children, a household to keep clean (or at least relatively so), a marriage, service at the church and being all things to all people... “God, you woke me up today. What can I do to bring you the MOST glory moment by moment in this day?” I am resolved to ask this question daily.
I definitely needed the joy of my salvation restored today. Do you? Have you stopped to marvel that you were chosen? That there is a specific role for you to play in this great story that God is writing? The very fact that you woke up today and are breathing is proof that God’s plan on this earth still includes you! So...look around...notice God’s wonder all around you. Nature, your health, the people you encounter, the differences that you have a chance to make. Give the most glory to God in those moments. Trust me...if you ask Him to show you how, He’ll be faithful to answer. Then, look inward and revel in the joy of your salvation...your selection by God to know Him intimately and His desire to weave you into His plan. Fall on His mercy for the times that you fail and receive the forgiveness that your repentance brings. Then, resolve to pursue holiness for the days He’s numbered for you. It’s so worth it.
peace.
So I was cleaning the house today and blasting my iTunes as is my general practice. Usually I have it on my dancing music, but today just really felt like it needed to be the worship playlist. I try to follow through on those “gut feelings” when they come because I’m learning that if I follow through, the Holy Spirit is nudging me toward something I need to experience and/or learn. Today was especially poignant and I knew why pretty quickly. After some trips through Lincoln Brewster and Passion singing at the top of my lungs, came Mac Powell’s voice blaring through with no flashy musical introduction. “Hide your face from my sins, and cover my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Don’t cast me away from your presence. Don’t take your Spirit from me.” These words are from Psalm 51 and are David’s pleas to the Father after being confronted by Nathan over his adultery with Bathsheba. Of course, I, being a really good christian, have never lured a bathing woman to my palace where I was watching her from a rooftop, slept with her, gotten her pregnant and had her husband killed, so I was able to sing through these words without too much pause...after all...I AM a really good christian. Then came the chorus...
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, restore to me the wonders of your love, restore to me the joy of your salvation, restore to me...restore to me.” At that point, I felt the all too familiar throat-clearing of the Holy Spirit. That’s how He deals with me, you see. There are not usually lights and sirens...no flares sent up...just that little “ahem.” If I’m wise, I always pause when that occurs. The times I get into trouble are when I don’t. So...it came and I asked my question. “Okay, Lord...what do I need to see?” As I started to listen, I started to realize that I was singing along harmonizing with Candi and Mac perfectly while not really listening to what I was singing. What does it look like to know the joy of my salvation? Am I even remotely operating in that joy? Could I even name the wonders of His love if asked right now? Sure, I could give all the “christianese” answers in the world, but what are the wonders of His love for ME, and what is the joy of MY salvation? This sent me on a quest. First...to Psalm 51...what does this Psalm mean for me, since I’m a pretty good little christian? Why am I being sideswiped by this song today?
“Have mercy on me, O God according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight...” "...Behold you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”
Hmmm....granted, I’ve never done what David did...or have I? If the thoughts and the attitudes of my heart were scrolling across my forehead, would I want to run and hide in a cave? Um...yeah. If the sentences of condemnation that I hand down in my mind to those that I consider beneath me in dress, social status or overall existence were plastered for all to see, would I be embarrassed to tears? Um...yeah. If the things I were really thinking about someone while I’m staring them in the face and pretending to be polite were actually being played on a tape recorder for all to hear, would I be utterly ashamed? Um...yeah. If what I did, said and thought when I knew no one would ever know were to suddenly be made public, would people have a radically different perception of me than before? Probably. “But the only person that matters DOES really see, hear and know all of those things. He’s the one who was beaten, suffered and died to free you from that, and He knows ALL of it. Perhaps you are a little more like David than you’d like to believe.” That was it. The punch in the gut moment. And...as I listened to Candi sing the second verse in stunned silence, it all seemed much more applicable to my life. You see, when I view myself correctly and through the lens of the holiness of Christ, my sins and iniquities become very apparent. I’m riddled with them and they threaten to consume me. They are not “little” as compared with David’s...they are exactly the same and when I view them as God views them, covered in His blood pooled at the foot of the cross, they put me in a perfect position to recognize the wonder of my salvation. When I'm on the ground at the foot of the cross of Christ, I can suddenly see the wonder of it all quite clearly.
“Hide your face from my sins and cover my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Don’t cast me away from your presence, don’t take your Spirit from me.” Then, it occurred to me that if I were actually living in the restored joy of my salvation, and reveling in the wonders of His love, I might be less likely to be living in my flesh-consumned palace rooftop state. So...I began to ponder the joy and the wonder of...
perfection. He who knew NO sin, yet became sin on my behalf so that I could become the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Cor. 5:21)
mercy. He does not deal with me as my sins deserve and does not repay me according to my sins. (Psalm 103:10)
forgiveness. In Him, I have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of my sins according to the riches of His grace which He lavished upon me in all wisdom and insight. (Ephesians 1:7)
transparency. Before a word is on my tongue He knows it completely. (Psalm 139:4)
grace. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin
reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life. (Romans 5:20-21)
Those are just the tip of the iceberg. Even a few moments meditating on the true wonder of a God stepping out of heaven to do what no one else could and redeem people who had no hope is enough to bring me to tears, increase my desire for holiness and keep my gaze fixed on eternity. It’s so easy to go from day to day, mundane task to mundane task marking off days on the calendar and scheduling all of my activities around when my favorite shows or sporting events are coming on...after all...those are important things to me! It’s so easy to go through life with my sinful thoughts, secret sins and the sins that I’ve let myself believe really aren’t that bad. After all...no one else knows, right? I sometimes feel I’ve resigned myself to leading a basically comfortable Christian life without considering the fact that it’s not actually about me. I rarely stop to ask in the busyness of three children, a household to keep clean (or at least relatively so), a marriage, service at the church and being all things to all people... “God, you woke me up today. What can I do to bring you the MOST glory moment by moment in this day?” I am resolved to ask this question daily.
I definitely needed the joy of my salvation restored today. Do you? Have you stopped to marvel that you were chosen? That there is a specific role for you to play in this great story that God is writing? The very fact that you woke up today and are breathing is proof that God’s plan on this earth still includes you! So...look around...notice God’s wonder all around you. Nature, your health, the people you encounter, the differences that you have a chance to make. Give the most glory to God in those moments. Trust me...if you ask Him to show you how, He’ll be faithful to answer. Then, look inward and revel in the joy of your salvation...your selection by God to know Him intimately and His desire to weave you into His plan. Fall on His mercy for the times that you fail and receive the forgiveness that your repentance brings. Then, resolve to pursue holiness for the days He’s numbered for you. It’s so worth it.
peace.
glimpses...
this was a post from right after the election of Barack Obama.
The Facebook status. Such a little glimpse of a person. From reading my Facebook status updates, you can pretty quickly gather several things about me.
*I appreciate quippy and well-worded updates
*Fall and Christmas make me quite happy
*I’m a die hard Florida Gators fan and a die hard Braves fan
*I love my family
*Jack Bauer is someone I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing again regularly
*I’m a generally happy individual
What you cannot gather about me from my status updates are all of the things that actually MEAN anything and define me. Why? Because you shouldn’t rely on my status updates to get to know me! If you want to get to know me, it’s going to take some effort on your part...you’re going to need to at least read the “info” section of my page, and if that doesn’t tell you enough, or you’re left wanting more, you’ll have to then contact me and engage in conversation that helps your pencil sketch of me become a full color portrait that accurately reflects me.
The travesty of the last few weeks is that many of us have fallen into the trap of deciding a person’s worth to us and to society by reading status updates.
If some poor unsuspecting soul donated their status to getting out the vote for Obama, some of us make a whole host of assumptions about them, their intelligence and mental clarity, their understanding of the word “change” and their hatred of all things God, Republican, American, military, traditional, family and George W. Bush. Never once do we assume that there is any possibility that they have a well-thought out reason for sending their support Obama’s direction and asking you to do the same.
Conversely, if yet another poor unsuspecting soul donated their status to getting out the vote for McCain, others of us immediately begin our list of assumptions. We automatically assume a Bush-loving, white power/black oppression, love war and want to see more of it, gay-bashing, religious fanatic with an antiquated and out-dated world view and with no concept of the fact that change might be good. Never once do we assume that there is any possibility that they have a well-thought out reason for sending their support McCain’s direction and asking you to do the same.
Glimpses. We take glimpses and we try to paint a portrait. Glimpses tell you nothing. Glimpses should leave you wanting more...that’s why they’re glimpses...they are but a small part of the whole picture.
I have a VERY good friend that I invited over to watch the election results with last night. She voted for one guy for President, I voted for the other. The good thing about this was that I was very glad to have a relationship with someone who shared a different view than I do. It gets pretty stale and gray in the world of “my opinion is the right one and all others are inferior and sub-standard in relation to my greatness and knowledge”. We had exactly one conversation about our different choices for President. Her explanation of her choice was well-thought out, substantial and easy for me to see why she’d feel that way. Mine was well-though out, substantial and easy for her to see why I’d feel that way. We didn’t discuss it again. We exchanged a couple of well-executed sarcastic jabs during the coverage, the new President was elected, and then we went about our business. Why? Because we had more than just glimpses of each other on which to base our relationship.
At the risk of sounding overly spiritual, if there even is such a thing...I’m SO glad that God does not base his acceptance of me on glimpses of me. Because of the amount of time I spend carrying out my will and my purposes for my life, I can imagine that the view is often quite a sub-standard one from His perspective. I’m so glad that He views me through the blood of His Son who died to free me from myself and the destiny I was bound for apart from Him. I’m so glad that He can overlook my emotion-filled responses and my unfiltered words at times and say... “well...that was ugly and uncalled for. But, you are covered by the blood of my Son and nothing can separate you from me. I do not deal with you as your sins deserve.”
What if we dealt with others this same way? What if we looked at our blood-covered brothers and sisters and extended to them the grace for their differing opinions that Christ has extended to us in the face of our hell-deserving sin? What if we looked at those we interact with who are hell-bound and spent our time figuring out how to introduce them to the only Person who can really transform their future outlook, rather than arguing with them about temporal leadership that will appear for a moment and then be gone?
The dictionary defines “sovereign” as “one that exercises supreme, permanent authority.” There is only one Person I know who gets that title. What I also know is that God is not more sovereign than He was yesterday because your candidate won and He is not less sovereign than He was yesterday because your candidate lost. He is, however, sovereignly at work and I would venture that He is much more interested in our responses to the circumstances of our life than He is the circumstances themselves. Am I responding to my circumstances, whatever they are, in the way that brings Him the utmost glory...since that’s what He’s about anyway?
Glimpses. Hopefully our glimpses of God and each other make us want to run to know more. God is worth getting to know...that I know for sure.
And for the love of all...I vote for a return to the meaningless status update and leaving the heavy issues for an actual relationship where human contact is required.
Peace.
The Facebook status. Such a little glimpse of a person. From reading my Facebook status updates, you can pretty quickly gather several things about me.
*I appreciate quippy and well-worded updates
*Fall and Christmas make me quite happy
*I’m a die hard Florida Gators fan and a die hard Braves fan
*I love my family
*Jack Bauer is someone I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing again regularly
*I’m a generally happy individual
What you cannot gather about me from my status updates are all of the things that actually MEAN anything and define me. Why? Because you shouldn’t rely on my status updates to get to know me! If you want to get to know me, it’s going to take some effort on your part...you’re going to need to at least read the “info” section of my page, and if that doesn’t tell you enough, or you’re left wanting more, you’ll have to then contact me and engage in conversation that helps your pencil sketch of me become a full color portrait that accurately reflects me.
The travesty of the last few weeks is that many of us have fallen into the trap of deciding a person’s worth to us and to society by reading status updates.
If some poor unsuspecting soul donated their status to getting out the vote for Obama, some of us make a whole host of assumptions about them, their intelligence and mental clarity, their understanding of the word “change” and their hatred of all things God, Republican, American, military, traditional, family and George W. Bush. Never once do we assume that there is any possibility that they have a well-thought out reason for sending their support Obama’s direction and asking you to do the same.
Conversely, if yet another poor unsuspecting soul donated their status to getting out the vote for McCain, others of us immediately begin our list of assumptions. We automatically assume a Bush-loving, white power/black oppression, love war and want to see more of it, gay-bashing, religious fanatic with an antiquated and out-dated world view and with no concept of the fact that change might be good. Never once do we assume that there is any possibility that they have a well-thought out reason for sending their support McCain’s direction and asking you to do the same.
Glimpses. We take glimpses and we try to paint a portrait. Glimpses tell you nothing. Glimpses should leave you wanting more...that’s why they’re glimpses...they are but a small part of the whole picture.
I have a VERY good friend that I invited over to watch the election results with last night. She voted for one guy for President, I voted for the other. The good thing about this was that I was very glad to have a relationship with someone who shared a different view than I do. It gets pretty stale and gray in the world of “my opinion is the right one and all others are inferior and sub-standard in relation to my greatness and knowledge”. We had exactly one conversation about our different choices for President. Her explanation of her choice was well-thought out, substantial and easy for me to see why she’d feel that way. Mine was well-though out, substantial and easy for her to see why I’d feel that way. We didn’t discuss it again. We exchanged a couple of well-executed sarcastic jabs during the coverage, the new President was elected, and then we went about our business. Why? Because we had more than just glimpses of each other on which to base our relationship.
At the risk of sounding overly spiritual, if there even is such a thing...I’m SO glad that God does not base his acceptance of me on glimpses of me. Because of the amount of time I spend carrying out my will and my purposes for my life, I can imagine that the view is often quite a sub-standard one from His perspective. I’m so glad that He views me through the blood of His Son who died to free me from myself and the destiny I was bound for apart from Him. I’m so glad that He can overlook my emotion-filled responses and my unfiltered words at times and say... “well...that was ugly and uncalled for. But, you are covered by the blood of my Son and nothing can separate you from me. I do not deal with you as your sins deserve.”
What if we dealt with others this same way? What if we looked at our blood-covered brothers and sisters and extended to them the grace for their differing opinions that Christ has extended to us in the face of our hell-deserving sin? What if we looked at those we interact with who are hell-bound and spent our time figuring out how to introduce them to the only Person who can really transform their future outlook, rather than arguing with them about temporal leadership that will appear for a moment and then be gone?
The dictionary defines “sovereign” as “one that exercises supreme, permanent authority.” There is only one Person I know who gets that title. What I also know is that God is not more sovereign than He was yesterday because your candidate won and He is not less sovereign than He was yesterday because your candidate lost. He is, however, sovereignly at work and I would venture that He is much more interested in our responses to the circumstances of our life than He is the circumstances themselves. Am I responding to my circumstances, whatever they are, in the way that brings Him the utmost glory...since that’s what He’s about anyway?
Glimpses. Hopefully our glimpses of God and each other make us want to run to know more. God is worth getting to know...that I know for sure.
And for the love of all...I vote for a return to the meaningless status update and leaving the heavy issues for an actual relationship where human contact is required.
Peace.
what I learned from diggers and matchbox cars...
moving several old posts from my facebook page to here...so everything is in one place...
So this morning, I was making up Jack's bed. He's three years old. Under the covers I found the book that I told him he couldn't take to bed with him last night. It's called "Diggers" and it's his favorite book. This means that after I left his room last night, he proceeded to get out of bed, get the book and get back in bed with it, hiding it under the covers. This behavior follows closely on the heels of an episode at church earlier that same day. It seems that when he was leaving his class after the service, he was not quite ready to stop playing with the little white matchbox car he had found there. So, having recently become aware of the pockets on all his pants, he slipped the car in there on the way out the door with Daddy and got in the car to come home.
Here's what is interesting about these two scenarios...
1) Jack is not allowed to get out of his bed once he's in it. So, knowing this, he had to decide to disobey by getting out of bed to get his book.
2) He'd already asked if he could have the book in bed. I said no. So, he had to devise a plan to get what he wanted anyway...which meant TWO acts of disobedience.
3) EVERY time I pick him up from his class at church, he asks to bring the car he's been playing with all morning. I explain that it's not ours and that we don't take things that are not ours. I then go into this whole long diatribe about the fact that if he takes the car, then it won't be there for another little boy to play with and wouldn't he be sad if some boy in the service before him took a car home and then he couldn't play with it when he got there and blah blah blah...we eventually get out of the classroom with him deciding it's better to leave it. So...he knows we don't take cars home from church.
4) Daddy was picking him up yesterday and he had to decide that even though he knew the whole "mommy lecture" scene, he didn't really want to hear it from Daddy and after all, he has a pocket...so he'll just put it in there even though he knows it's wrong...after all...playing with it will be MUCH more fun than leaving it.
Of course, as is the case with both Jack and Maggie, eventually in the car, the guilt is too much to bear and the whole ugly story comes out. Daddy responds with explaining that he will now have to go back to the director of Preschool next week and explain that he took the car and ask for forgiveness. He also will not be able to play with the car that he's taken. As of this moment, it sits on our counter...a reminder of the perils of taking things that are not ours.
Then...later that same night, the "Digger Episode" occurs.
So...as I'm making Jack's bed this morning and find the book, I actually say out loud to myself, "Are you kidding me? Did you really think you weren't going to get caught?", when God graciously pricked my spirit and might as well have audibly said "Well, did you, Shannon? Jack's only doing what you do all the time..."
BOO. It's not fun at all when God uses your preschool children to illustrate your own fallen condition, by the way. But...as I finally said "Okay, Lord...where are we going with this?" I began to realize that I do the exact same thing that my sweet boy did multiple times yesterday. What's even worse is that I don't have the excuse that I'm three years old!
I make a conscious choice to sin. I even lead myself to believe that it's not a big deal because after all, I'm still doing a lot of "christian" things. I feel the poke in my rib cage by the Holy Spirit and more times than I care to count, I decide "nah...I'm not quite ready to be done with this, yet. I'll repent later." What I don't factor into these absurd decisions is the grief that it causes the Spirit, the fellowship that it breaks with my Creator and the holiness process that grinds to an abrupt halt in my life. The root of all of these attitudes and behaviors? Pride. Pride is at the root of all sin. CJ Mahaney defines pride as "contending for/competing for supremacy with God and lifting up our hearts against Him". Wow. Come on, that's not really what I'm doing... "Pride has only one end. Self-glorification." Oooo...yeah...that sounds about right. Yuck.
So, as I proudly judged my son this morning and thought, "who does he think he's dealing with here?", I received a much needed kick in the gut from Someone who has the only right to ask "Do YOU know Who you're dealing with here?"
I'm considering carrying a matchbox car around with me to remind me of what amazing grace I've been extended on the basis of nothing I've done. I am a very grateful girl today. Mahaney's daily prayer has become a great example to me in recent days of what I believe should be the posture of my heart.
"Father, I want to stand as close to your cross as I possibly can, because it's harder for me to be arrogant when I'm there."
Peace.
So this morning, I was making up Jack's bed. He's three years old. Under the covers I found the book that I told him he couldn't take to bed with him last night. It's called "Diggers" and it's his favorite book. This means that after I left his room last night, he proceeded to get out of bed, get the book and get back in bed with it, hiding it under the covers. This behavior follows closely on the heels of an episode at church earlier that same day. It seems that when he was leaving his class after the service, he was not quite ready to stop playing with the little white matchbox car he had found there. So, having recently become aware of the pockets on all his pants, he slipped the car in there on the way out the door with Daddy and got in the car to come home.
Here's what is interesting about these two scenarios...
1) Jack is not allowed to get out of his bed once he's in it. So, knowing this, he had to decide to disobey by getting out of bed to get his book.
2) He'd already asked if he could have the book in bed. I said no. So, he had to devise a plan to get what he wanted anyway...which meant TWO acts of disobedience.
3) EVERY time I pick him up from his class at church, he asks to bring the car he's been playing with all morning. I explain that it's not ours and that we don't take things that are not ours. I then go into this whole long diatribe about the fact that if he takes the car, then it won't be there for another little boy to play with and wouldn't he be sad if some boy in the service before him took a car home and then he couldn't play with it when he got there and blah blah blah...we eventually get out of the classroom with him deciding it's better to leave it. So...he knows we don't take cars home from church.
4) Daddy was picking him up yesterday and he had to decide that even though he knew the whole "mommy lecture" scene, he didn't really want to hear it from Daddy and after all, he has a pocket...so he'll just put it in there even though he knows it's wrong...after all...playing with it will be MUCH more fun than leaving it.
Of course, as is the case with both Jack and Maggie, eventually in the car, the guilt is too much to bear and the whole ugly story comes out. Daddy responds with explaining that he will now have to go back to the director of Preschool next week and explain that he took the car and ask for forgiveness. He also will not be able to play with the car that he's taken. As of this moment, it sits on our counter...a reminder of the perils of taking things that are not ours.
Then...later that same night, the "Digger Episode" occurs.
So...as I'm making Jack's bed this morning and find the book, I actually say out loud to myself, "Are you kidding me? Did you really think you weren't going to get caught?", when God graciously pricked my spirit and might as well have audibly said "Well, did you, Shannon? Jack's only doing what you do all the time..."
BOO. It's not fun at all when God uses your preschool children to illustrate your own fallen condition, by the way. But...as I finally said "Okay, Lord...where are we going with this?" I began to realize that I do the exact same thing that my sweet boy did multiple times yesterday. What's even worse is that I don't have the excuse that I'm three years old!
I make a conscious choice to sin. I even lead myself to believe that it's not a big deal because after all, I'm still doing a lot of "christian" things. I feel the poke in my rib cage by the Holy Spirit and more times than I care to count, I decide "nah...I'm not quite ready to be done with this, yet. I'll repent later." What I don't factor into these absurd decisions is the grief that it causes the Spirit, the fellowship that it breaks with my Creator and the holiness process that grinds to an abrupt halt in my life. The root of all of these attitudes and behaviors? Pride. Pride is at the root of all sin. CJ Mahaney defines pride as "contending for/competing for supremacy with God and lifting up our hearts against Him". Wow. Come on, that's not really what I'm doing... "Pride has only one end. Self-glorification." Oooo...yeah...that sounds about right. Yuck.
So, as I proudly judged my son this morning and thought, "who does he think he's dealing with here?", I received a much needed kick in the gut from Someone who has the only right to ask "Do YOU know Who you're dealing with here?"
I'm considering carrying a matchbox car around with me to remind me of what amazing grace I've been extended on the basis of nothing I've done. I am a very grateful girl today. Mahaney's daily prayer has become a great example to me in recent days of what I believe should be the posture of my heart.
"Father, I want to stand as close to your cross as I possibly can, because it's harder for me to be arrogant when I'm there."
Peace.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
thirty-five reasons not to sin...
I haven't posted a blog in six months. This is not because I don't have anything to say. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a virtual impossibility. I haven't posted because the amount of information, journeying, deciding, contemplation, wrestling, elation, trusting, stillness, sadness and silence have been too overwhelming to process. But, the time has come to begin the processing. So, I'm sure I'll be posting more frequently as I wrestle through it all. I know you're simply about to fall off of the edge of your seat with anticipation. If nothing else, this will accomplish the task of helping me process it all. That's what writing does for me.
One of the things that I am wrestling with is how amazingly PRESENT my flesh is at the drop of a hat. I think I've lived in this delusion that one of these days, I just simply won't have to worry about it any longer. I find myself wondering if those I admire so much in the faith even struggle any longer...because any time I hear them speak or sing, I find myself thinking "good grief! They're so like Christ!" Whether they're peaceful or powerful, articulate or artistic or any combination of these and more, I feel a profound sense of having NOT arrived when I'm around or impacted by these people.
Now, there's no need to instruct me on the fact that these people haven't actually arrived at total Christ-likeness. I know they're on a journey just like I am. I do find myself growing so weary of my sin, however, and wonder if there will ever be a measure of relief. The fact is...I'm still pondering this. Now, when I say "sin", I'm not talking about my struggle with robbing banks, cheating on my taxes, lying about my kids' ages to get them into sports or schools, nothing like that. I am talking about the things I'm tempted to classify as "little". The things that I am tempted to brush aside as not being a big deal...but the very things that they Holy Spirit points at when I ask that dreaded question: "Lord is there anything in my life that isn't pleasing to you?" The list often feels too long to number. So...as I wrestle, I'm reminded of something I stumbled across a few years ago. It hit me profoundly then and has done so again as I've re-found it. Maybe it will help you as you wrestle with the things He's pointing at in your life. I know it's making me squirm...
35 Reasons Not To Sin
1. Because a little sin leads to more sin.
2. Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
3. Because the time spent in my sin is forever wasted.
4. Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
5. Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
6. Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
7. Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
8. Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
9. Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
10. Because my sin saddens the godly.
11. Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
12. Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained what in reality I have lost.
13. Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
14. Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
15. Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
16. Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
17. Because my sin may influence others to sin.
18. Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
19. Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
20. Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
21. Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
22. Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
23. Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
24. Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
25. Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
26. Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
27. Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
28. Because my sin is adultery with the world.
29. Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
30. Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
31. Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
32. Because to sin is to not love Christ.
33. Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
34. Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it's worth anything on it's own.
35. Because I promised God would be Lord of my life.
Relinquish your rights.
Reject the sin.
Renew the mind.
Rely on God.
©1992 Christian Communicators Worldwide, Inc.
peace.
One of the things that I am wrestling with is how amazingly PRESENT my flesh is at the drop of a hat. I think I've lived in this delusion that one of these days, I just simply won't have to worry about it any longer. I find myself wondering if those I admire so much in the faith even struggle any longer...because any time I hear them speak or sing, I find myself thinking "good grief! They're so like Christ!" Whether they're peaceful or powerful, articulate or artistic or any combination of these and more, I feel a profound sense of having NOT arrived when I'm around or impacted by these people.
Now, there's no need to instruct me on the fact that these people haven't actually arrived at total Christ-likeness. I know they're on a journey just like I am. I do find myself growing so weary of my sin, however, and wonder if there will ever be a measure of relief. The fact is...I'm still pondering this. Now, when I say "sin", I'm not talking about my struggle with robbing banks, cheating on my taxes, lying about my kids' ages to get them into sports or schools, nothing like that. I am talking about the things I'm tempted to classify as "little". The things that I am tempted to brush aside as not being a big deal...but the very things that they Holy Spirit points at when I ask that dreaded question: "Lord is there anything in my life that isn't pleasing to you?" The list often feels too long to number. So...as I wrestle, I'm reminded of something I stumbled across a few years ago. It hit me profoundly then and has done so again as I've re-found it. Maybe it will help you as you wrestle with the things He's pointing at in your life. I know it's making me squirm...
35 Reasons Not To Sin
1. Because a little sin leads to more sin.
2. Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
3. Because the time spent in my sin is forever wasted.
4. Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
5. Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
6. Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
7. Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
8. Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
9. Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
10. Because my sin saddens the godly.
11. Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
12. Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained what in reality I have lost.
13. Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
14. Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
15. Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
16. Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
17. Because my sin may influence others to sin.
18. Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
19. Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
20. Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
21. Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
22. Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
23. Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
24. Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
25. Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
26. Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
27. Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
28. Because my sin is adultery with the world.
29. Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
30. Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
31. Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
32. Because to sin is to not love Christ.
33. Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
34. Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it's worth anything on it's own.
35. Because I promised God would be Lord of my life.
Relinquish your rights.
Reject the sin.
Renew the mind.
Rely on God.
©1992 Christian Communicators Worldwide, Inc.
peace.
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